"Can I buy you a drink?"

[muckefuck]

What is the appropriate reaction when a complete stranger buys you a drink in a bar?

This has never happened to me, but I've done it to other people three times in my life so far and attempted a fourth. The first two times were very positive. Both times, I saw some nice-looking guy drinking alone at Big Chicks and told the bartender that his next drink was on me. Both times, the guy caught my eye and nodded thanks, then came up to me a bit later and chatted. (One guy was the buddy I call "the Scoutmaster"; we've been friends ever since. The other was some doofy kid named Dylan. We didn't talk much--I think monshu's "distant but cuddly" demeanour might've been too much for him--and I haven't seen him there since.)

So I did this again at Sidetrack on the last day of Bear Pride. I mentioned to ottr4bear how gorgeous I found this one gentleman across the way and he told me that the two of them had chatted while standing in line outside and he seemed genial enough. So I told our gem of a bartender to get him a refill on me. The bartender pointed me out and the man looked in my direction, but didn't make eye contact. Later, I tried to catch his eye again, but he not only didn't look at me, he actually moved so he wasn't sitting across from me any more.

Something similar happened at Big Chicks Friday night during the ball game. monshu, bunj, and e. had all left, so it was just me and my soda alone at the table. At some point, an extremely cute bear wandered over and took up a position a few feet in front of me, directly under the television. When I saw that he had almost finished his drink, I leaned forward and asked him, "Ready for another." "No, I'm okay for now," he replied, a little flustered. "It's just that I'm--" and then he fled. I mean he took his bottle and rushed away to the other side of the room. I didn't see him for the rest of the night.

There seems to be something here about bar etiquette that I'm not quite groking.

Edit: I wonder if I shouldn't've have left out the incidents entirely or saved them for a follow-up post, since I notice almost no one (except qwrrty--I am totally using that line next time I have a chance!) has actually answered the question I asked. I'm not looking for sympathy on my part or empathy regarding others. I just want to know what the etiquette is in situations like these. Can buying a stranger a drink be a friendly gesture or is it always interpreted as a wanna-fuck? Is it impolite to refuse a drink? What is the obligation of the one on the receiving end? I'd really like to know these things lest I put another person I don't know into an uncomfortable position.

Comments

[owenthomas.livejournal.com]

Or he might just be painfully shy.

[trom.livejournal.com]

Sounds like shy to me as well...

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

In both cases or just the second? ottr4bear is rather shy himself, so I doubt he initiated the chat in the line outside Sidetrack. Moreover, after the gentleman moved away from the bar, he found two acquaintances and chatted with them for quite some time. I wouldn't call this behaviour typical of the "painfully shy".

[trom.livejournal.com]

I was thinking just the later. As for etiquette, I think buying a stranger a drink can be a friendly gesture, especially if you've been chatting for awhile. If someone I've never even talked to were to buy me a drink, I'd assume they were at least making enough of a pass at me to find out if they were more interested and I tend to be completely oblivious to these sorts of things.