Meming under duress

[muckefuck]

List 4 5 things that bug you - things that others may find trivial. Then tag 7 of your friends.

Since when do I need a goddamn meme to prompt me to do this? Okay, aadroma, I'll do it because you're so sweet I find it hard to deny you anything, but it dies here. I absolutely refuse to pass on chain letters of any kind.

1. Don't say "bruscetta" There is no such thing. The word is bruschetta. The h after the c tells you that it's still "hard" (i.e. /k/) even though it comes before a "soft" consonant. I know a lot of English-speakers pronounce the sch like in German, but though I try to be as descriptivist as possible, this is something I simply can't abide.
2. Don't mess with my braid I don't care how inviting it looks, don't yank, tug, twirl, or bat it about. What are you, some mutant hairless bipedial feline? You wouldn't tweak my nose without asking, would you, so why are you playing with my hair?
3. Don't block the way Sidewalks, corridors, stairways, etc. in public places usually accommodate two abreast; some allow for three or more. What is your reason for walking or standing so that I can't get past you without squeezing by or asking you to move? Being deep in conversation, either face-to-face or on the phone, is no damn excuse. Show some awareness of your surroundings and a little consideration for others, people!
4. Don't make fun of my stammer Ever since I was little, my mind has worked faster than my mouth. Now and again, this causes me to trip over my tongue. Just let it pass. I'll never understand what the hell imitating a stammer at that moment is supposed to be--acknowledgment of human weakness? Friendly teasing? I don't find it friendly; in fact, it pisses me off so much that I remember distinctly ever single time a good friend has done this to me and I still hold it against each of them.
5. Don't introduce me as "Dan" It's not my name. My given name has two syllables; my preferred nickname is "Da". The latter is fine for informal occasions, the former for formal. I don't care if someone spontaneously shortens my name to "Dan", but I don't want anyone telling them to call me that.

I feel so much better now. Thank you for not listening.

Comments

[foodpoisoningsf.livejournal.com]

given name has two syllables

Danny?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Not many men could pull this off in my presence, but you might be one of them.

(We were Old School Catholics, remember. Biblical and Saints names only, please; no shortenings, surnames, blends, or modish misspellings.)

[danbearnyc.livejournal.com]

Don't block the way

Amen, sistah!

What is it about people who feel the need to stop and look around at the exact point where the escalator has discharged them? Immediately in front of the door through which they've just exited the building? In front of the cash register to rearrange the contents of their wallets, purses, briefcases?

[cpratt.livejournal.com]

You stammer?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Very rarely these days, but it took a lot of effort to reach this point. There are some words which will almost always trip me up; I've learned to avoid them.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the bruschetta validation.

I also trip over my tongue when I'm trying to speak faster than is physically possible ... doesn't everyone? Who would make fun of a person for that? If, for some crack-smoking, complete-lack-of-sensitivity reason I ever teased you about that, I am heartily sorry.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Don't worry; you never have.

It seems some people don't even consider it teasing. At least, that's what someone tried to say to me once, that it was more like a reflex response meant to--I dunno--make the situation less awkward or something?

Or maybe they just consider it free game, like monshu teasing me for my lateness or me making fun of his inability to catch. That's why I listed it here: It seems a trivial thing for most people, who don't realise how much cruel mockery I suffered on account of it when I was a schoolchild.

[owenthomas.livejournal.com]

You didn't read the contract closely: ex-boyfriends retain braid-twirling rights indefinitely.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

So be it; you leave me no choice but to go ahead with that restraining order.

[owenthomas.livejournal.com]

Restraining order? As in, "Tie me up now"?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I'm game if you are.

[foodpoisoningsf.livejournal.com]

You? And Owen? OMG.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

What can I say? We were young and foolish; now we're just foolish.

[pacotelic.livejournal.com]

I have lost more friends over the pronunciation of Ikea. What say you: EYE-Kee-yuh or EE-Kay-ah?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

It depends what language I'm speaking.

[pacotelic.livejournal.com]

Elusive, but your first peeve indicates that you would prefer that we "go native" when using common nouns from other language-bases. I agree. I m not a lingust, but your description seems to indicate that we pronounce Bruschetta brew-sket-uh. Did I misinterpret?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

But "Ikea" isn't a common noun--it's a proper noun, a name. Let me ask you this: How is it pronounced in the English-language advertisements produced by the company itself?

[pacotelic.livejournal.com]

Whoops, I meant proper nouns. Not having lived in their markets until recently, I have never heard an Ikea ad on radio or TV. I would very much suspect that they pronounce it the "American" way. Though that is not the Scandinavian way. So what's wrong with saying Bruschetta with a Sch instead of a K? They are both proper nouns from a different language.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

In that case you are confused.

proper noun n. A noun belonging to the class of words used as names for unique individuals, events, or places. Also called proper name. (AHD, 2nd ed.)

What is "bruschetta" the proper name of? Is there a Signore Bruschetta the dish is named for? No; like the names of most pasta, it's just an ordinary word given a culinary meaning (probably originally a diminutive of brusca "horse brush; rising staff"). Besides, if I were being truly pedantic, I wouldn't accepted a retroflex /r/, a flapped /tt/, or a final shwa, but I have no trouble accepting these minor adaptations to the phonological system of English.

IKEA is a completely different case. It's the name of a unique individual (in this case, a corporation, which constitutes an individual person under the law). With persons, the rule is: Whatever they say is correct. The Standard German spelling pronunciation of Anheuser would be ["an%hOYz6], but the owners of the eponymous brewery say ["{n%haIzr\=]. So that's the final word (at least as far as the name of that corporation is concerned; some persons with the surname Anheuser may pronounce it differently and their pronunciation is correct with regard to them).

Furthermore, as I alluded earlier, the correct pronunciation of a name can vary with language. When speaking German, I germanise the pronunciation of my full name rather than insisting that German-speakers conform to the English pronunciation (or, rather, pronunciations, since my father and his relatives pronounce it differently than the rest of us). My adopted Sinitic name is pronounced completely differently depending on whether the language being used is Standard Chinese, Cantonese, Korean, Vietnamese, and so forth.

So, to answer your initial question, in German I would say /i:"ke:a/, but in English I say /ay"kiy@/--which is the only pronunciation I've ever heard from English-speakers. If authenticity is your goal, be prepared for endless misunderstandings, since, if I'm not mistaken, in the Swedish pronunciation the /k/ is a fricative rather like the German Ich-Laut. (As for your deleted comment, of course it's Linux with a short I since (a) it's a proper name and (b) it was named for Linus Torvalds, who pronounces his given name with short I.)

all kindsa errors

[pacotelic.livejournal.com]

I retract. A slavish consistency is not the quality of an English speaker, so I don't really care if we toe the line on some words from other languages, and mung all over others. I had to pursue the Ikea thing in a debate about the pronunciation of Linux, and apologize for pulling you into the (altogether frivolous) debate.

[nibadi.livejournal.com]

bruschetta ... oh ja! Schrei es in die Welt hinaus!

Mir fallen spontan noch zwei ähnliche Beispiele ein. In der cafeteria unserere Klinik höre ich immer wieder Zuchini (natürlich verdeutscht) und besonders schmerzt mich Gnotschi (selbst aus dem Mund des Küchenchefs) für gnocchi.

Neulich im Kaufhof wollte ich Modenaschinken. Ich spreche es völlig korrekt aus und die Veräuferin sagt wie ein Klugscheißer: "Sie meinen Moodeenaschinken!?" ... "Nein, ich meine ..."

1 bis 4 kann ich dir nur zustimmen. Besonders bei 2 und 3 muss ich mich zusammen nehmen, um nicht augenblicklich auszurasten. (Mittlerweile - seit ca. 3 Monaten - trage ich wieder Zopf wie vor 15 - 20 Jahren (Pferdeschwanz ist eigentlich korrekt, da er nicht geflochten ist)

Ich befürchte, ich bin dir auch schon das eine oder andere mal ins Wort gefallen, wenn du noch nach dem deutschen Wort suchtest und ich meinte zu wissen, was du suchtest. Sollten wir noch mal Gelegenheit haben, am Telefon zu plaudern, werde ich mich bemühen, darauf zu verzichten. Manchmal bin ich leider ungeduldig und merke es nicht.

Bella Block, die beste Fernsehkomissarin im deutschen TV erzählte: Kommt ein Mann ins Spielwarengeschäft und sagt zum Verkäufer "Ich hätte gerne ein Geduldsspiel" er atmet durch und fügt hinzu "aber zack zack".
Das gefällt mir.

Ich würde wohl immer bei Daniel bleiben ... weil es ein so schöner Name ist.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Ich befürchte, ich bin dir auch schon das eine oder andere mal ins Wort gefallen, wenn du noch nach dem deutschen Wort suchtest und ich meinte zu wissen, was du suchtest.

Das ist was völlig anders und ich find es immer sehr hilfreich. Du bist halt mein lebendiges Wörterbuch!

Uebrigens, vielen Dank für die lieben Grüsse zum Geburtstag!

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

"What are you, some mutant hairless bipedial feline?"

'Fraid so.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Don't worry--old friends like you get a free pass.

[kayiwa.livejournal.com]

Don't introduce me as "Dan" It's not my name. My given name has two syllables; my preferred nickname is "Da". The latter is fine for informal occasions, the former for formal. I don't care if someone spontaneously shortens my name to "Dan", but I don't want anyone telling them to call me that.

You would correct one if they did -yes? I have this sinking feeling I may be guilty of this.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Actually, I wouldn't. I consider it too gauche to correct someone extending the courtesy of proper introductions unless their error is really egregious (e.g. like calling me by my brother's name). Don't sweat it; this is ultimately a list of trivialities, isn't it?

[aadroma.livejournal.com]

I feel so much better now. Thank you for not listening.

Well so long as you got SOME comfort out of it. You didn't hafta do it if you didn't want to, nena. You know this, ne?

I've ALWAYS called you "Da", and I'm amazed how many people give me a blank look and go, "OHHHH, DAN!" Yeah. :: shrug ::

I've never noticed you stammer or trip or anything, EVER. People have to be real dicks to mock that. As someone with a speech impediment, I can understand wholeheartedly. (HG)