Adult education

I learned a lot by staying home yesterday, such as the fact that my new building has an arrangement with ComEd called "Rider 12" with nobody at ComEd (or at very least the three operators I spoke with) knows anything about and apparently means I don't have to do anything in order to get electricity service started. Today, I'm still learning. By staying home, I missed Virus Day at work and now I'm learning exactly how many ding-dang files are on my PC.

63,712 and counting.

Today's contest

How long will it take to you pick out my ex-boyfriend from the options on this page?

(Thanks to e. for the tip!)

Politics and sausage-making

P.J. O'Rourke concludes his book Parliament of Whores with the insight that government is inherently morally wrong. His basis for this conclusion is an absolute belief in the sancrosanctity of private property that I just can't get behind, but I sometimes wonder if he didn't arrive at the right answer by the wrong reasoning.

Whenever I read about a country that's being bled to death because some psychotic despot won't surrender absolute control, the thought that always forms in my head is No single person should have that much power. The international response to such strongmen vacilates betweens appeasement and opposition and I am cautiously hopeful that appeasement is falling from favour again.

However, the problem is much more pervasive than a clutch of militarised pariah states. Thabo Mbeki was democratically elected in an election that was universally recognised as free and fair. Yet, in no small part due to unscientific opinions he formed from surfing the web, hundreds of thousands of ordinary South Africans are dying unnecessarily. Whether you supported the unseating of Saddam Hussein or not, you have to be unsettled by the fact that Aznar spearheaded Spain's involvement over the objection of 99% of the electorate.

What can one do? One of my co-workers suggest a complete rejection of authoritarianism, universal direct democracy, and radical decentralisation of society such that no individual has a substantially greater amount of authority than another. Wonderful in theory; I can't imagine how it could possibly be workable in practice, much less how you could get from here to there in a way that wouldn't be bloody-minded, ends-oriented, and extraordinarily unjust.

Quote of the Day

"I'm a radish who thinks he's a crouton. I think I'm crunchy and seasoned, but I'm really just crunchy and bitter." --Chris

The most radical cell

Well after all that silly hand-wringing and fretting about my stepbrother's wedding, I lamed out and didn't even go. The causes were a tangle, but they stem from a conjunction of my housing situation, Nuphy's health emergency, monshu's disinterest, my piss-poor planning ability, and basically nothing turning out the way I thought it would when the idea was first proposed. I tried to reach my parents before they left to explain my reasoning, but I wasn't successful. bunj reported that Dad asked why I wasn't coming (I take it from this that he didn't feel comfortable asking for me), so apparently the move and the hospital care aren't explanation enough by themselves. I should get in touch with them soon and make sure there are no hard feelings.

I wish I could say there were none on my part, but I still am disappointed in how the whole thing played out. Whatever. Family is so much bullshit. You get these stupid expectations--from where? Books you read? Lifetime movies? Some congenital idea you carry around in your insect brain? And then people don't meet them--'cause really, how could they?--and you get all pissy. Like the fact that Mom never calls me. (I shouldn't say "Never". After all, she phoned me once so far this calendar year and once last year. That's more than a lot of people get.) If she were a friend, I would simply say, "Hey, psycho, how come you never call me?" or decided it was unimportant and forget about it. But because it's the woman who bore me, I carry it around inside me like a cold sore in the mouth.

I vented about some of this to Nuphy last night. He's always been remarkably receptive to hearing about my family. Perhaps the fact that my sister had just sent him flowers had softened him up. Or he just appreciated the distraction. Several times, I pointed out that he didn't have to listen to me bang on and he said (quite sincerely--I can tell with him) that, no, this was good. He's doing quite well and could be released as soon as next week--right about the time his Little Boy is due to drive back to college in the Northeast.