Oct. 14th, 2002 10:03 am
Is that all you ever think about?
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muckefuckOne of the discussions that grew out of a ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rollick Monday Morning Mini-Poll ended on this note:
My flippant answer is, Who says I'm arguing anything and not simply shooting my mouth off again? But there must be a serious answer lurking in me somewhere.
I find sex like any other routine, life-sustaining activity. At times, you have the energy and creativity to spice it up, but often you settle for something basic that lives you merely contented. It's like eating. Most eating is boring; I'm not always counting chews until I can swallow, but there's a reason why the meals I detail in my journal stand out and that is a background of indifferent stir-fries, decent sandwiches, and salty instant soups.
Similarly, there are some really intense bouts of sexual activity that stand out in my mind, but they're just not an everyday thing. We have a well-stocked toy chest that we simply don't have the time, energy, and interest to make much use of--much as Monshu has a well-stocked kitchen that's mostly used to make simple pastas and reheat leftovers. I'm not counting teeth or thrusts, but my mind can wander. I mean, honestly, haven't you ever found yourself thinking, God, I hope he comes soon so I can go back to what I was doing?
Not that I'm complaining. Even merely adequate food gives you a pleasant feeling of being full, if only for a few hours. And I know he must be thinking the same thing from time to time, so I do my best not to show impatience (which, of course, only kills the mood for the other person and makes everything take even longer). Plus, cautionary tales about pushing the limits for the next new thrill abound. I find that confidence in the possibility of pushing the limits from time to time takes away much of my urge to actually do it.
I've also watched a fair amount of other people having sex and I don't know if the novelty hasn't completely worn off or if it actually is a little more interesting than pornography. With filmed sex--even something like HBO's Real Sex--people are conscious of playing to the camera and it lends the act an air of artificiality that I find off-putting. Not that people don't ever play to an audience in a group-sex situation, but it's easier for them to lose themselves in the act and you get to see the cuddling, false starts, curious reactions, and negotiation that are more intriguing than the straightforward ass-poundings that fill commercial porn. Plus, the illusion (or, in many situations, the actual possibility) you could join in is much stronger, which adds to the thrill.
Still, most of what these people actually do in terms of sex acts is nothing special. Oh, wow, another blow job! How outré! Add in the fact that they're likely driven to be more adventurous and acrobatic by the exceptional setting, and the obvious conclusion is that most of their sex--like most of their conversation, exercise, reading, work, etc.--is pretty ho-hum.
(Excuse me--I have to go beat off now.
rollick Monday Morning Mini-Poll ended on this note:As to whether fucking in general is boring, it depends on what you're talking about. I find pornography boring. I don't find actual sex-having boring at all. I've never actually watched two people have sex, and I like to think I wouldn't find it boring initially, because of the novelty. After a while, it would just be live pornography, hence dull. What exactly are you arguing here?
My flippant answer is, Who says I'm arguing anything and not simply shooting my mouth off again? But there must be a serious answer lurking in me somewhere.
I find sex like any other routine, life-sustaining activity. At times, you have the energy and creativity to spice it up, but often you settle for something basic that lives you merely contented. It's like eating. Most eating is boring; I'm not always counting chews until I can swallow, but there's a reason why the meals I detail in my journal stand out and that is a background of indifferent stir-fries, decent sandwiches, and salty instant soups.
Similarly, there are some really intense bouts of sexual activity that stand out in my mind, but they're just not an everyday thing. We have a well-stocked toy chest that we simply don't have the time, energy, and interest to make much use of--much as Monshu has a well-stocked kitchen that's mostly used to make simple pastas and reheat leftovers. I'm not counting teeth or thrusts, but my mind can wander. I mean, honestly, haven't you ever found yourself thinking, God, I hope he comes soon so I can go back to what I was doing?
Not that I'm complaining. Even merely adequate food gives you a pleasant feeling of being full, if only for a few hours. And I know he must be thinking the same thing from time to time, so I do my best not to show impatience (which, of course, only kills the mood for the other person and makes everything take even longer). Plus, cautionary tales about pushing the limits for the next new thrill abound. I find that confidence in the possibility of pushing the limits from time to time takes away much of my urge to actually do it.
I've also watched a fair amount of other people having sex and I don't know if the novelty hasn't completely worn off or if it actually is a little more interesting than pornography. With filmed sex--even something like HBO's Real Sex--people are conscious of playing to the camera and it lends the act an air of artificiality that I find off-putting. Not that people don't ever play to an audience in a group-sex situation, but it's easier for them to lose themselves in the act and you get to see the cuddling, false starts, curious reactions, and negotiation that are more intriguing than the straightforward ass-poundings that fill commercial porn. Plus, the illusion (or, in many situations, the actual possibility) you could join in is much stronger, which adds to the thrill.
Still, most of what these people actually do in terms of sex acts is nothing special. Oh, wow, another blow job! How outré! Add in the fact that they're likely driven to be more adventurous and acrobatic by the exceptional setting, and the obvious conclusion is that most of their sex--like most of their conversation, exercise, reading, work, etc.--is pretty ho-hum.
(Excuse me--I have to go beat off now.
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Re: Exhibitionistic self-analysis
Re: Exhibitionistic self-analysis
'jilling off' is a stupid euphemism; I reclaim the original for my gender daily
Hm. I agree that "jilling off" is stupid, but I can't use "jacking" either. I think of that as a direct reference to the one-handed pumping motion most often depicted as the be-all and end-all of male masturbation, and there's just no female equivalent, in my mind. I don't see anything wrong with the term "masturbation," and I stick to that.
As to porn plots… I DO want Hollywood-level plots. That's a pretty low standard to set, most of the time. I want to have a reason to care about other people's pistoning.
To the degree that I find Buffy/Spike sexy (which is not very, because so many aspects of that relationship strike me as silly), it's because of their histories and their non-sexual interactions, and how those interactions shape the sex. The sex they have actually means something (usually a bad, self-destructive something), and that's what makes it interesting.