Anti-climatic rant

[muckefuck]

I swear, if I hear ONE MORE whiner baby bitch about how "cold" it is, I'm going to knock him across the chops, screaming: "It is NOT cold! Look, you can't even see your breath! It's 45 degrees! We spend half the frickin' year colder than this. If this is too cold for you, WHY ARE YOU LIVING IN THIS FUCKING TOWN? Move your bitch ass to Arizona or somewhere!"

Thank you for your indulgence.

Comments

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

It's SO COLD we turned the heat on last night! Omigod!

Actually, I was all basking in the luxury of just being able to turn on the damn heat instead of wondering how late in October this year it would be before the landlord could be begged into it. The joy of home ownership!

[lhn.livejournal.com]

Conversely, I'm basking in the luxury of getting to wait all day Friday for the heating guy. (Because, despite the fact that they replaced our thermocouple twice last year, and despite the fact that I had the boiler cleaned and inspected two weeks ago, the heat didn't go on when I turned the thermostat up on Monday). The joy of home ownership!

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

This year's perfectly functioning spankin' new furnace brought to you by last year's leaky flooding A/C unit. The joy of homeownership, I say yet again!

[febrile.livejournal.com]

Da, this made me smile broadly. I can't tell you how often I've wanted to beat someone with an olive loaf for committing this very offense. Of course, in my world it often comes from displaced Okies, whom I usually allow a year to figure it out. But generally, I want to tell people that they can either choose between wearing tank tops or being warm.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Transplants get a free pass during their first winter. After that, if they haven't figured out that they're NOT IN THE SUNBELT ANYMORE and how to dress appropriately against the blustry north winds, then I have absolute zero sympathy for their shivers.

Of course, my particular ire is reserved for natives who have lived through this time and time again and still haven't acclimated. What is wrong with you people?

Heh.

[sconstant.livejournal.com]

I remember one Chicago spring I went outside and saw a guy who was dressed quite conservatively, but still looked totally freakish to me. Upon examination, I realized that I felt this way because he was dressed normally for the indoors, but he was outdoors. It seriously took me several beats to recall and apply the following fact: "Occasionally, it is warm enough outside that you don't have to wear a heavy winter coat, hat, scarf, and gloves." I had somehow completely forgotten that winter ever ends.

Chicago is not for amateurs.

[nibadi.livejournal.com]

Du hast eine Wettergesprächsallergie, gel!?

Was ich mir wünsche ist ein Tag in Chicago oder New York bei heftigstem Schneefall und klirrender Kälte. Für das Erlebnis - besonders das akustische - würde ich sogar eine Erkältung in Kauf nehmen.