Quotations on intimidation

[muckefuck]

When I told "Distant...but Cuddly" Monshu about how all our friends confessed they were too "intimidated" to cook for us, he replied:

"Intimidate? Ha! really cheese sammies and milk with friends is just fine. Oh well."

In the ground-floor picture window of an apartment building I pass to and from work, there's a tremendous pink rabbit propped up. It's been there a while, but I only yesterday noticed the small sign tacked up next to it which says:

DOES ANYBODY KNOW A GOOD LAWYER?
I hit a kid who was trying to steal from me with a broken beer bottle. Turns out he was only hunting Easter eggs. My bad!

Comments

[rollick.livejournal.com]

Hot cheese sammies and milk, eh? First off: Eewww.

Second off, I presume the cheese in question must be premium French asiago, aged not less than six months but not more than 12, while the milk must be hand-drawn goat's milk from Florence, if elk milk is not in season. I'm not even getting into the garnishes.

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

And don't forget the bread baked from a sour dough culture handed down from 17th Century Basque monks!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Very funny, you two. But I wouldn't eat French Asiago if you paid me in the severed heads of my enemies.

Plus, I've been known to settle for sourdough that is no more than a century old. I can really be easy sometimes.

[rollick.livejournal.com]

So we hear. But honestly, what does that have to do with your food choices?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Cook for me and find out!

[rollick.livejournal.com]

Eeeek!

In a more serious vein… While I do find the idea of cooking for you or Monshu or both very intimidating, I've been wanting to start having dinner parties of some sort. But the idea horrifies cassielsander, so I suspect we aren't going to be doing any gracious entertaining as a couple.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

That's how I knew I was growed-up: When I started inviting my friends for honest-to-goodness dinner parties instead of coke and pizza around the t.v. Incidentally, it paid big dividends as my lack of a proper service was revealed--and remedied, next time a gift-giving occasion rolled around. I have awesome friends.

Can't you do this on the sly? What he doesn't know won't hurt him and all.

[rollick.livejournal.com]

Um, he might come to notice the presence of revelers in his home at some point. Or at least the hours of cookery that would presage such an event.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Pish, I'm sure you can pull the wool if you try.

"Honey, what are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm making lasagne."
"But why are you making so much?"
"Oh, you know how cooking is: It's as much work to make enough for twenty as for two. This way, we'll eat all week!"
[ding dong!]
"Could you get that, dear?"
"Darling, there are four couples at the door!"
"Hi! We were in the neighbourhood so we thought we'd stop by and see how you guys were doing."
"Well, as long as you're here, why don't you sit yourselves down and have some dinner? I made plenty!"

True, the fourth or fifth time you do this, he might start getting a little suspicious, but by that time he might have decided he doesn't mind so much.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

I'd cook for you, and have. Of course, it wasn't cheese sammies. That was some goood pork tenderloin, even if it was awfully like biology class to stuff it.

I miss John.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

John who?

Is there something about that "pork" tenderloin you haven't told me?

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Brother (insert silly medieval name), of course.

And no: it was just that the process of ramming a long-handled wooden spoon through the tenderloin and then widening the hole with my fingers was very ... tactile.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, that ex-John! How could I have forgotten that you knew him?

He seems very happy at Cambridge right now. Before long, he should settle back to the desert where he's only an incident-filled road trip away from you and your hubby.

DOES ANYBODY KNOW A GOOD GRAMMARIAN?

[alfaboy.livejournal.com]

Can't tell from his syntax whether he hit the kid with a beer bottle or the kid was trying to steal from him with a beer bottle... any prospective attorney might wanna know such little details...>:)

Re: DOES ANYBODY KNOW A GOOD GRAMMARIAN?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I had assumed the former, since the latter would presumably be:
"I hit a kid with a broken beer bottle who was trying to steal from me."
But what he really needs to do is translate the sentence into Russian, whose instrumental case would remove all ambiguity.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

I wish we had cases in English, besides the invisible accusative case. Tho I must admit that I *adore*, when someone gets snarky about using "whom," tilting my head back and drawling, "But it's the accusative case, not the nominative."

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I think you should create some. I'd love to see your proposals.