A question for all the parents

[muckefuck]

This is something of poser, I would suppose, so I completely understand if you don't feel comfortable answering it all or, if you do, then only on your own terms (e.g. in your own journal or in some other venue entirely). That said:

Many of you who have children post about them here or on similar sites like Facebook. These entries vary from simple updates along the lines of "Buster got a new tooth" to loving recountings of their words and actions illustrated with photographs and furnished with speculations on their mental and emotional states and analysis of your own reactions and attitudes. Now I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that, regardless of the nature of the postings, you are all planning at some point to inform your children of their existence.

How exactly are you planning to do this? What do you expect you say to them and how do you think they might respond?

Comments

[richardthinks.livejournal.com]

I don't do this precisely because I think I ought to respect their privacy, even if they haven't asked me to: they have plenty of time to post pictures of themselves drooling embarrassingly when they're at college.
I imagine that they'd count as something like a family album, though: I can picture myself showing them to the kids, or turning them into a scrapbook or similar.

...yeah, right: like I do anything like that at any other time. These days I'm fairly unlikely to show anyone the photos I take, let alone go back over old lj posts. I expect they'll grow up completely ignorant of any records I've made concerning them.

[qwrrty.livejournal.com]

Morgan and Quinn already know about the pictures and stories we post about them. We show them most of the things that we post, though not usually in the moment.

Quinn is mostly uninterested unless he thinks the story or picture is funny. Morgan really seems to appreciate both the funny pictures and the navel-gazing stories, to a degree I wouldn't have expected (though he often seems uncommonly aware of grownup emotions, so I shouldn't be too surprised).

[kcatalyst.livejournal.com]

I deliberately keep posts to fairly shallow stuff, cute stories that we already tell Seth about his past or tell other people in front of him. He knows about the posts and once he even demanded I post something he'd said to lj. I declined, though, since it seemed like a bad road to go down.

[porysski.livejournal.com]

"For the last 18 years of your life, I've posted all information anyone could possibly need to steal your identity on easily-accessible websites."

"That's ok, Dad. I've stolen someone else's anyway."

[kcatalyst.livejournal.com]

I was wondering about this element, since the original post seems to assume that parents are not telling the kids about the posts and then somehow sitting them down at some point as adults and confessing. Which, yeah, would be intensely creepy. But most of the folks I know, regardless of their comfort with *what* they're sharing (and we differ widely, I think), all assume that this is something their kids get to know is going on from the beginning. What nonparents seem to sometimes forget is that parents spend quite a lot of time with kids, and a lot of topics come up. It's a lot harder to keep secrets from them than it is to tell them stuff.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Well, I was sort of assuming that y'all waited until, you know, they were at least old enough to comprehend human speech. It's fascinating to know that you were telling Seth about his posts when he was still suckling.

[kcatalyst.livejournal.com]

Well, he comprehended human speech quite well while he was still suckling, so I'm not sure how that fits into your timeline.

[jakflak.livejournal.com]

I tell my kids when I post funny stuff; they usually think it's funny too. If I ever get a book deal I'll just buy them off with new bikes.

Hm

[arkanjil.livejournal.com]

I expect that it will just be another facet of Beth's online life as she grows up; mind, outside of the pictures, I don't think we've been particularly detailed. Even the current generation is noted for their 'appalling' lack of discretion compared to who's come before- I 'd on't expect this to improve with time...

Explaining my 411 profile may well be trickier...

Back in the old days…

[ursine1.livejournal.com]

Before the internet, digital cameras and the like, parents would send a letter with pictures to relatives and friends. Now it's cheaper and faster to do the same. I guess the concern is how "public" the information is. I haven't posted anything about my children or grandchild that would cause them concern.

Chuck