A conversation I'm tired of having

[muckefuck]

NetLoon: I read something from a guy who says cheese is made from corn. Does anyone know anything about this?
Me: As far as we can tell, there is no way to make cheese out of corn.
NetLoon: It makes sense what he's saying since corn is yellow and so is cheese.
Me: A lot of foods are yellow. That doesn't mean they're all related.
NetLoon: Look here where he says that polenta is "creamy" and so is Gouda!
Me: Take any two foods and you can find resemblances in texture between them. This still doesn't prove anything since they could be due to chance.
NetLoon: What do you know anyway? He's got a lot of comparisons on his website.
Me: I have a degree in food science. Near as I can tell, your man's credentials are that he used to be a fry monkey at KFC.
NetLoon: KFC has a bowl that mixes CORN and CHEESE!!!
Me: ...

Comments

[danbearnyc.livejournal.com]

Except that when the word cheese is used as an adjective by Kraft, then yes, corn oil is an ingredient. Among other unimaginable unmentionables.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Source? I can't find it listed as an ingredient on any of their "cheese" products. (Not that it invalidates my analogy in any case, since "containing trace amounts of" is in no way the equivalent of "being made from".) Even Velveeta contains only "MILK, WATER, MILKFAT, WHEY, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, MILK PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ALGINATE, SODIUM CITRATE, APOCAROTENAL (COLOR), ANNATTO (COLOR), ENZYMES, CHEESE CULTURE."

[danbearnyc.livejournal.com]

"Why, EVERYONE knows!"

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Everybody knows that their diet's tainted
Everybody eats with their fingers crossed!

[danbearnyc.livejournal.com]

What's my secret? Frankly,dear,forgive my Candor. Family Secret, All to do with herbs.
Things like being careful with your coriander. That's what makes the gravy grander!

[lhn.livejournal.com]

Though Cheez Whiz has (a tiny amount of) corn syrup! :-)

(Thus proving that English is a Romance language. Or maybe a creole.)

[strongaxe.livejournal.com]

If you buy the really bottom-of-the-barrel imitation cheese products, some of those are made from vegetable oils and contain no dairy whatsoever, so it's possible that there's some truth to this. On the other hand, you can't sell such products as "cheese". KFC would get into trouble if they used them in a "corn and cheese bowl". Years ago, a friend of mine used to insist that corn chips were made from the cob. Sigh.

[bunj.livejournal.com]

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

How about a nice game of chess?

[lifeandstuff.livejournal.com]

For real!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

It's entirely truthful without being strictly factual.

[kcatalyst.livejournal.com]

There is totally a way to make cheese out of corn. You just need a cow and a truckload of antibiotics.

[pne.livejournal.com]

BTW, did you know that the Eskimos have 602 words for snow?

It makes sense, with all the snow up there.

[bunj.livejournal.com]

It also makes sense considering how closely their language is related to Basque, which has 602 words for everything.

Or so a friend told me.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure how that's relevant, but Wikipedia says that the French have over 1,000 words for cheese!

[pne.livejournal.com]

The question is: how many words do they have for corn?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

At least six: maïs, blé indien or blé d’Inde, froment des Indes, blé de Turquie, and blé de Barbarie.

[tyrannio.livejournal.com]

Is it true that linguists have over 100 words for "incorrect argument"?

[richardthinks.livejournal.com]

I apologise for all the times I've been the "NetLoon" in this drama.
I'm not promising to stop, though.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Is it true that cheddar comes from Cornwall?

[richardthinks.livejournal.com]

Over the past 2 days I've had the conversation "Cornwall: is that in Somerset?" twice, so this is kind of uncanny.

Cheddar, of course, come from Wisconsin, and is bright orange.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

So it must be made from ORANGES!

[richardthinks.livejournal.com]

Just like Windex (which has the WI right in the name).

That explains a lot, actually.
Did you know oranges are left-handed lemons?

[pne.livejournal.com]

Did you know oranges are left-handed lemons?

Then I suppose demons are right-handed ones?

(Chemistry joke)

[pne.livejournal.com]

I don't know, but Stilton may not be produced in Stilton.

Just Ran Across This Today

[bunj.livejournal.com]

"...the English language of the late twentieth century contains about 50,000 words, five times more than in Shakespeare’s lifetime."

This was in an academic article, too. I can only assume they're relying on written sources. I'm not saying there isn't some truth to it, but considering how many words were never written down (and, thus, remain unknown to modern scholars), it's a stupid statement.

Re: Just Ran Across This Today

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

No it doesn't! Haven't they heard the news? We're up to one million words!

Re: Just Ran Across This Today

[bunj.livejournal.com]

I like how the Guardian elides over the fact that it isn't true with "Linguistic spats aside..." I'll remember to add something similar to my article "Giant Meteor Hits Earth, Kills Everyone" ("Scientists persist that the Earth is still here, but astrophysical spats aside...").

[ursine1.livejournal.com]

Due to the processing and additives, much of this stuff cannot legally be labeled as "cheese" in many countries, including the US and UK, and so are sold as "cheese food", "cheese spread", or "cheese product"

In the United States processed cheese is defined, categorized, and regulated by the FDA. Pasteurized process cheese can be made from a single cheese or a blend of several cheeses. Cream, milkfat, water, salt, artificial color, and spices may also be added. The mixture is heated with an emulsifier, poured into a mold, and allowed to cool. The definitions include:

• Pasteurized process cheese (100% cheese which includes "American Cheese" and "Pasteurized process American cheese"), (e.g., "Kraft Deli Deluxe American Cheese", "Land o Lakes American Cheese", "Laughing Cow").


• Pasteurized process cheese food, which contains at least 51% cheese.


• Pasteurized process cheese product which contain less than 51% cheese and cannot be advertised as cheese by the FDA (e.g. "Velveeta, "Kraft Singles")


• Pasteurized process cheese spread (e.g. "Cheez Whiz")

Chuck, Kraft even owns a Spanish brand "El Caserío"

[keyne.livejournal.com]

The U of C is issuing food-science degrees?

[anicca-anicca.livejournal.com]

You're the mother of on-topic discussions. Get a good night's sleep and don't waver.