Soiled n00b

[muckefuck]

For weeks now, I've been ribbing a neighbour (half in jest, full in earnest) about the overgrown weed patch she calls her "garden". The plants on the western edge of our plot are starting to get edged out by the erectilely-challenged monsters in hers. I don't mind that so much--it's mostly the sorrel that seems to be suffering and this is basically inedible to us now because of slug issues. No, what annoys me is that scattered between her sunflowers and sweet william are several noxious weeds, including some (like smartweed) that the other neighbours have been struggling for years to eradicate. After ripping it out of her plot for the third time, I decided a little horticultural lesson was in order, so I brought the bunch up to her and explained that it was really bad news. For my trouble, I got the squirt gun.

She apologised later, of course, and came down to do a little weed-pulling of her own. Later on, as I was disposing of some compost, I saw the fruits of her labours. She hadn't yanked a single smartweed, pokeweed, or wood sorrel, as far as I could see, but she did rip up a splendid borage plant that was just on the cusp of bursting into bloom. Amateur horticulturalist that I am, I can't tell you how this pains me. She managed to overlook dozens of noxious invaders and instead destroy one of the single most attractive and valuable plants she had. The cluelessness is staggering. Okay, so you just tossed out some seed packets instead of carefully selecting your flowers. Would it kill you to spend half an hour on the Internet learning what to slay and what to save?

Comments

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

Wait a minute, are you saying she squirted you with a squirt gun? How ... strange.

My advice: Come and collect some wintercreeper from my yard, and surreptitiously plant it in her plot. Wait 3 years. Bingo, no other living thing in her plot but wintercreeper. All you have to do is trim it every month or so. (Don't skip that part or wintercreeper is all anyone else will have also). Turns an attractive dark green/purple over the winter.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

If I did that with anything, it would be with mint!

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

While mint is a more useful weed-like growth than most mojito-wise, I don't think it has the same ability as wintercreeper to choke off all other plant life in its path.

FWIW, I have pulled maybe a dozen weeds from the wintercreeper patch in my front yard in almost 8 years. The last two years, none.