The Missus

[muckefuck]

That does it: Next time I get a call asking for "Mister and Missus [monshu's surname]", I'm simply going to say in my deepest, butchest voice, "This is Missus [monshu's surname]" and listen to solicitor on the other end of the line squirm. (At monshu's insistence, my full name is on all the bills, so there's really no excuse for this.)

Comments

[darkphuque.livejournal.com]

I love getting those calls.... usually the solicitor opens with "May I speak to Mr Sindowkeitsk"i (or some mangled form) I will respond "this is he". Then the pitch ensues. About 30 sec into the pitch, I stop them and if its a guy, I ask "How big is your Dick?" If its a woman I ask: "Are you wearing white or pink panties?". Usually The other person simply hangs up. But there is always a long pause, as the solicitor really thinks about what's been said. They will usually mark me a "no call"....

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

See, I try never to lose sight of the fact that more often than not this is some housewife in Nebraska trying to make ends meet, so I don't believe in asking such questions. But I do demand that they identify themselves immediately and get to the pitch as soon as possible so I can (almost inevitably) inform them that I'm not interested and end the call.

[grahamwest.livejournal.com]

Or you could go the Keeping Up Appearances route and say, "[Surname] residence, the lady of the house speaking."

[darkphuque.livejournal.com]

do you ever keep track of whose calling... i.e.the company name? I have only had one repeat.. at least according to my records. When I was firm, but polite, the repeats were often, even when I would ask for my name to be removed from their calling list.

You are probably much more the gentleman than I in these cases... now I only get calls maybe once in 2 months....

I wish I could work the spammers equally well.

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

Hee hee! Absolutely.

Heterosexist, cissexist mumblemumble jerks.

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

I'll never forget the solicitor who asked for Mr. [Maiden Name]. 1) He'd never ever lived there. 2) He'd been DEAD for the last few years. Stymied, I said, "Uh, he can't come to the phone right now," and hung up. My stepfather thought it was hilarious.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Oh, I've totally done that. "Can I speak to Missus [My Surname]?" "You mean my grandma? Sorry, she's dead."

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

My desperately poor teenaged self thanks you.

Telemarketing truly is the worst job you can have in an industrial democracy. Well, maybe hog-slaughtering is worse.

[gopower.livejournal.com]

Have you signed up on the national do not call list (www.donotcall.gov/)? Surprisingly for a government program, it works reasonably well in cutting down phone solicitations

[areia.livejournal.com]

In England our credit card company would call trying to sell us extra services, but since my husband was the main card holder they refused to talk to me, or even take my word for our lack of interest. They always called when he was at work, so I just started to claim I was him. No fake voice, just me...

"Could I speak to Mr. Surname?"
"Speaking."
"No, I'm looking for *Mr.* Surname."
"That's me, what can I do for you?"

There's no way they were going to tell me I sounded like a girl, so they would either hang up or, on a few occasions, start addressing me accordingly. I loved doing that. :)

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Anybody you already have a contract with is specifically excluded. Last night's call was Comcast trying to flog another service, which is why there's no excuse for their not knowing two men live here.

[lil-m-moses.livejournal.com]

I get mail addressed to Mr. and Mrs. even though there's no man's name on any of my bills or real estate documents. Heaven forbid an unmarried woman run her own household!

[gopower.livejournal.com]

I've had Comcast for years, and they never call me with new services. You homeowner types get all the attention. hmmp.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I'd be happy to forward all their future calls to you.

[tyrannio.livejournal.com]

Callers sometimes ask if I am Mr. innerdoggie's last name. (I usually respond "I'm sorry, but I'm too busy to talk right now".)

[lhn.livejournal.com]

For us, any calls from companies (or, more often, with caller name blocked) get to plead their case with the butler answering machine. If it's important, they'll leave a callback number. Most telemarketers just hang up.

(Though not the robocall versions, which will happily deliver their spiel to a fellow machine. At least I'll be warned when Skynet starts recruiting allies among the downtrodden serfdroids.)