Jun. 29th, 2009 10:15 am
Observing the forms
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muckefuckI may have to stop reading ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mikiedoggie's entries. They're becoming more and more of a mocking reminder what kind of fabulous gay life I could have if I could only be bothered to, you know, go out and do stuff once and a while. I still make it to Bear Night every couple of months (it helps that's literally a stone's throw from my door) or Dollar Burger Night occasionally, but the big events like Gay Pride and Market Days have completely dropped off my social calendar. Once the thrill of being surrounded with throngs of half-naked homosexuals begins to dim, what else do they have to offer you but watered drinks and nasty sunburns?
Which means I was caught entirely off guard today when, returning from a family brunch at Chief O'Neill's, I was struck with longing for the rainbow crowds. By that time, the parade was winding down, so I looked online for what we quaintly called the "rally site" back in the days when this was still ostensibly a political event and turned up bupkiss. I could've simply hopped a bus to Halsted and hung out on the street, but that called up some unhappy memories.
Which is how I came to sitting on the back deck of a near-deserted gay bar in my neighbourhood sipping what has to be the worst Tom Collins I've ever had in my life.monshu saw me moping around the house, and so when I suggested walking over to Jackhammer for a drink, he readily agreed. Bizarrely, it worked; I felt better for having "gotten out of the house" even if--paradoxically--we spent most of our time talking about how to decide what improvements to make over the summer.
I concluded that what I need to do is throw that Big Gay Party I've always wanted to. That may have to wait until next year, but I could easily ramp up to it with some cocktail soirees, game nights, and things of that sort. Something to get us back on the map of the gay social scene until I'm nothing but a bitter old man surfing X-Tube in my underwear and wondering where all my friends went.
mikiedoggie's entries. They're becoming more and more of a mocking reminder what kind of fabulous gay life I could have if I could only be bothered to, you know, go out and do stuff once and a while. I still make it to Bear Night every couple of months (it helps that's literally a stone's throw from my door) or Dollar Burger Night occasionally, but the big events like Gay Pride and Market Days have completely dropped off my social calendar. Once the thrill of being surrounded with throngs of half-naked homosexuals begins to dim, what else do they have to offer you but watered drinks and nasty sunburns?Which means I was caught entirely off guard today when, returning from a family brunch at Chief O'Neill's, I was struck with longing for the rainbow crowds. By that time, the parade was winding down, so I looked online for what we quaintly called the "rally site" back in the days when this was still ostensibly a political event and turned up bupkiss. I could've simply hopped a bus to Halsted and hung out on the street, but that called up some unhappy memories.
Which is how I came to sitting on the back deck of a near-deserted gay bar in my neighbourhood sipping what has to be the worst Tom Collins I've ever had in my life.
monshu saw me moping around the house, and so when I suggested walking over to Jackhammer for a drink, he readily agreed. Bizarrely, it worked; I felt better for having "gotten out of the house" even if--paradoxically--we spent most of our time talking about how to decide what improvements to make over the summer.I concluded that what I need to do is throw that Big Gay Party I've always wanted to. That may have to wait until next year, but I could easily ramp up to it with some cocktail soirees, game nights, and things of that sort. Something to get us back on the map of the gay social scene until I'm nothing but a bitter old man surfing X-Tube in my underwear and wondering where all my friends went.
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BITCH, BITCH , BITCH... BUT IS TRUE
Boy, have you said a mouthful!!!! Although I see a lot of activity going on for the two of you, I have nothing that remotely resembles a "Gay Lifestyle" .
Oh sure I will occasionally run into guys with whom I had a "friendship" but the conversation usually end with "Let's get together soon"; or "Let get together and cook up a storm" and, of course, nothing happens. And its probably as much my fault as it is the fault of others. Maybe I just don't know how to reach out.
I don't follow through and when I do, its often weeks after meeting someoneand everyone is either "going away for the weekend" or "we have friends coming in for the weekend", or Gee I have plans, can we take a rain check? I have a stack of rain checks about a meter high. LOL Its even worse when someone whom you've known for 15 years answers their phone and sez "Ed, Who"?
Bars? Well I am not good at small talk, and unless I am in a group, I am a wall flower.
I am not much into alcohol, so bars are not any fun. When I met you it was at a bar... had you not taken the opportunity to talk to me, we probably wouldn't be in each other's LJ.
bitter old man? Yup.. right here. The only difference between you and me is that I surf XTube naked.
I need to get a life, but I am no longer sure i am alive.... LOL
I am at home 5 nights a week... and that is where I seem to stay....
Maybe I need the Gay geriatrics society or something. I am at a loss....
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When other gay men complain to me that they have no gay friends, I always advise joining a social/charitable group of some sort. The Great Lakes Bears were the heart of my social network for many years and I still have friends left over from those days. (Smooches,
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This 'gay life' - I wonder. I have much more limited access to such a thing than you do. Of course it's easy to see when I travel as well as on the net. But I wonder if having 200 close acquaintances is all that much at this point in my life.
I have a few friendships scattered over the country (2 abroad), all about three decades in the making or going on it. Three of them happen to be gay, but I'm not sure I would call them 'gay friends', they're so much a part of my life. I have bearish friends in Dallas that are always friendly, include me when possible, and are people I am very glad to know. I've known most of these guys 10 to 15 years, but none of them have developed into deep friendships. Some of that is me - I'm not the most social person (at least in a group).
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