Texas Report #1: The Game

[muckefuck]

Of course, I wouldn't have missed caitalainn's wedding for the world, but it made the trip a little sweeter to know that one of my oldest friends was coming into town that weekend for the Astros vs. Cardinals game. I haven't seen Turtle in years--long enough for her to get married and change jobs twice--despite the fact that Austin's a town you might actually be able to talk me into visiting on its own merits.

It was her idea for me to buy a cheap ticket; grab an empty seat near her, her husband, and her brother; and visit with her during the game. This all went pretty smoothly, despite the complete absence of signs identifying the route to the ballpark* and the assholish confiscating of my water bottle at the entrance. (I can accept preventing people from bringing their own alcohol or soda to the game, even if I do condemn it as petty avarice--but water? In East Texas? What, do you really want people fainting from dehydration because they won't pony up 30 cents/fl. oz. for H2O?)

The cheering was about what I expected. As Turtle put it, "They'll cheer for anything like they've scored a run." Of course, it was a scoreless game for the Astros so I guess if you came to cheer, you had to take what you could get. I asked her, "Do they do something cheesy during the 7th-inning stretch, like sing Yellow Rose of Texas?" She couldn't remember. As it turned out, they didn't.

They sang Deep in the heart of Texas instead.

There seemed to be no theme colour for the Astros either. I didn't have any Cardinal red, so I asked the natives what Houston's colours were, so I could at least avoid wearing those. No one knew--or cared. ("Don't they have those stupid taco-theme uniforms now?") At the game, I saw Astros shirts in blue, red, and orange, among other colours. Many of their wearers deserted in droves during the top of the 9th.

We stayed til the end, then retired to Turtle's hotel room for roasted peanuts. This finally gave me the chance to size up her husband--a transplant from Boston--and decide that I liked him. Around eleven, my ride called, said he was caught in bad traffic, but he was only about a mile away and should be there in ten minutes. So we went down to the lobby to wait for him.

An hour later, he picked me up.

There's been an accident on I-45 and traffic was down to one lane. When he finally got off the highway, the more southerly exit put him on the grid further north so he got totally turned around. The price I paid for the ride was hearing him bitch for as much as thirty minutes about how godawful it was to drive in this city. It was the very least I could do.

I tried to distract him by telling him about the game. When I told him about the singing, he replied, "This isn't even the heart of Texas!"

"Yeah," I said, "you're right. Wouldn't that be Austin?"

Then I went:
[clap-clap-clap-clap] "Right at the edge of Tex-as!"

He supplied, "We're al-most in / Lou-i-si-ana"
[clap-clap-clap-clap] "Right at the edge of Tex-as!"

This inspired a song which deserves its own entry.

[*] Abu 'Atā Allāh theorised that they had removed all the Enron Field signs, but that Minute Maid hadn't given them enough money to replace them with Minute Maid Park signs. After two more days of driving around Houston, I began to doubt that the signs had ever been there.

Comments

[welcomerain.livejournal.com]

At the World Cup you had to throw out your water bottles too. Of course, they had cute little Korean blue bins for you to throw them into. Apparently, people fill them back up with water, or whatever, and then throw them. Dumbasses.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

But how does this help? Can't you just buy water bottles in the stadium, drink them out and refill them, and throw them or whatever? I couldn't see any safety reason to prevent people from bringing in plastic water bottles. In fact, I saw the opposite: a case in which the profit motive impairs safety.

Other than that, it wasn't a bad park. I'm just happy I'll never have to revisit it.

[aadroma.livejournal.com]

No one knew--or cared. ("Don't they have those stupid taco-theme uniforms now?")

Wow, sounds like jaded Cubs fans. :: laugh ::

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

There aren't so much Cubs fans as Wrigley fans. It's a great ballpark and people go there to enjoy it, not to see great ball being played. (Not to say that they won't, but only incidentally.)

Nevertheless, the Cubs have a colour and everyone knows what it is, if only from being caught on an el car or bus with a hundred morons in blue. Astro fans aren't even that coordinated. One gets the feeling they'd all rather be watching football.