Eating Roo

[muckefuck]

Setting: Như Ý Forest Meat Restaurant, Little Saigon, Chicago
Cast (In order of appearance):
muckefuck
Vietnamese waitress
Smoking man #1
Smoking man #2
Smoking man #3
Smoking man #4
Smoking man #5
rollick
welcomerain
cassielsander
spookyfruit
Young mother
Smoking man #6
Young woman
Cute Asian baby

[Vietnamese Waitress seated at table with 5 Smoking Men]
[muckefuck entres]
VW: Ken ải hep yú?
M: I'm meeting some friends.
[VW shows him to a table in the front window. She brings him a menu. He peruses it briefly, then takes a deck of hwathwu from his bag and begins playing solitaire. She brings a pot of tea.]
M: Thank you.
VW: Hao menni pipưl câminh?
M: I don't know yet.
[VW leaves, returns with two more teacups. Smoking men #1-3 exit]
rollick entres]
M: You made it!
R: I feel out of it.
[M continues playing]
R: I've played an online version of that.
M: Probably not. This is a solitaire game. I can use these cards to tell your fortune. [shuffles] Here, cut the deck. [begins playing a new game]
[welcomerain entres and stands by the table]
M: Why don't you pull up a chair?
WR (looks out window): spookyfruit's coming. Besides, I like making you feel uncomfortable.
VW:: Yu laic tu muv tu bigơ tếbừl?
M: As soon as I finish this game.

M: I lose. You have no fortune. (Gathers cards)
[Group moves to large round table]
R: Look, there's a cassielsander!
[cassielsander entres and sits. VW brings menus, which they all open and read]
WR: They have cha gio!
M:: Every Vietnamese restaurant has cha gio. (points to ancient sign) Today's special is black bear!
R: Looks like that's been today's special for months. (to cassielsander) Are you eating or just looking?
CS: I might eat.
[spookyfruit entres]
SF:TWELVE MILLION DOLLARS!
[Smoking Man #6 comes to take orders]
M: Snake!
R: Number 26.
SM6:: Diz veri smà.
R: Then I'll have two.
C: This one.
WR: Cha gio and seafood noodle soup.
SF: TWELVE MILLLLLLION DOLLARS!
WR: Wait, what about my fortune?
M: (holds up cards) Your husband is going to prong you tonight.
SF: (suggestively) TWELVE. MILLION. DOLLARS.
[VW sets a dish on the table. Everyone eyes it suspiciously]
R: (to cassielsander) Is that yours?
C: I don't know; what is it?
R: What did you order?
M: If you don't know what it is, how do you know you didn't order it?
[VW returns with more dishes]
M: (pointing) What is that?
VW: Nềch. (muckefuck eats snake.)

Comments

[rollick.livejournal.com]

I now require you to put "The End" at the end of all your serial-updated entries so I will know when you're done and will not have to accuse you of being a big old tease or a leaver-out-of-stuff.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I'll do that

[rollick.livejournal.com]

Ahhh! I'm on tenterhooks! Are you done with this comment or will there be more? Is your lack of punctuation deliberate or accidental? Will you get into the fisting conversation or not? AHHH!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

if I feel like it.

The End

[rollick.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh. I feel SO much better.

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

Of what possible interest were the subsequent thoughts of the infidel?

--Bernard Lewis, What Went Wrong : The Clash Between Islam and Modernity in the Middle East

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm, smoking.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

There's good reason why Bourdain calls Vietnam the last refuge of the serious smoker. But even in comparison to other Vietnamese restaurants I've been to, this place was noxious.

[prilicla.livejournal.com]

OK, you said you were going to order "[t]he cutest, cuddliest, most big-eyed and sweet-natured dead animal I can find!" And you ordered snake?

Also, have I somehow missed the dramatic entrance of "Young mother?" If she hasn't appeared yet, shouldn't she come after "Smoking man #6" in the cast list? Or is this a subtle artistic statement of some kind that your audience is supposed to puzzle out as the drama slowly unfolds?

[rollick.livejournal.com]

If it EVER unfolds. I mean, my god, I've been waiting for minutes now. MINUTES!

I personally plan to be on the dock pushing people into the harbor, crying out "What of Little Nell? Did she survive?" and causing many unnecessary deaths as I wait to see what happens next.

And I was THERE.

[welcomerain.livejournal.com]

rollick had the kangaroo. I guess he figured she had it covered.
I was tempted by the wild rabbit, I must admit.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

What about snakes is not cuddly? They're warm, dry, and they wrap around you like a muffler. Try doing that with a wild buffalo!

And what drama? This is a post-modern anti-drama that deliberately adopts the outward form of a dramatic scene in order to subvert it and cause the reader to question his notions of drama, scene-ry, and the bourgeois capitalist commodification and consumption of exotica.

And I'm just making it up as I go along.

[rollick.livejournal.com]

He's not lying, either. He departed from the reality *I* remember about 10 lines ago.

[bunj.livejournal.com]

I'm waiting for the stage direction: Exeunt, pursued by BEAR.

[rollick.livejournal.com]

"You no order pork dish? You must fight… THE BEAR!"