Family update: Yep, still crazy

[muckefuck]

My parents are like haemorrhoids in the sense that you can go for weeks, even months between attacks. Today, they both struck at once. First there was an email from my mother inexplicably suggesting that me and my brother come down for Thanksgiving this year. Inexplicable because, for starters, we'll both be there for Christmas. Second, I don't do family Thanksgivings any more. Up until I turned thirty, I faithfully went down every year even though travelling that weekend sucks rat nuts. But it's the only holiday that means anything to monshu, so when he and I started going steady, I gave up on going out of town (and in a spectacular manner that precipitated a family crisis to boot so no one has an excuse for not remembering).

I was tempted to send a reply along the lines of, "Have you gone mad, woman?" But then I recalled the whole carried-me-in-the-womb-for-nine-months, suckled-me-from-her-breast sort of thing and decided more diplomacy was in order, so I tried contacting my brother about drafting a joint statement. But he wasn't at home and I suddenly got called away, so before this could happen the second parent struck.

Dad was born under the sign of bad timing, so it's no surprise he rang me at the moment I was leaving my old apartment with a bag stuffed with books and a load of dress shirts on my arm. Dicking around with the speakerphone until he cut me off is also classic Dad, so I told him I'd call him back from the house in about half an hour. By now, it's already 9:30, but that doesn't stop him from filling me in on every mundane happening until we finally get to the reason he called: My stepmother is coming to town tomorrow and she wants to visit monshu and me.

Now the curse is off; I would take a bullet for this woman. "I know it's short notice and I understand if it doesn't work out." (Sounds like Jewish guilt, doesn't it? But it's an honest statement of apology.) So there's no question about working something out, only when it will happen, as monshu is in dreamland.

Nothing left to do but call bunj and warn him, since guaranteed this is the first he'll hear of the visit. And it is. But at least he has a plausible explanation for Mom's T-Day invitation: He told her a week ago they were considering the 20th of December for their Christmas party and wanted to know if it would conflict with the monster family Christmas celebration. Turns out it does, so Mom would miss a chance to "show us off" to her relatives. (Sounds a bit ridiculous when you put it that way, but the moment bunj said it I immediately got what he meant.) Dragging us to the monster family Thanksgiving would be another opportunity to do that.

monshu was completely understanding. "Do what you have to do," he told me. Dude, I do not have to do this. This isn't a family funeral or wedding or major anniversary. I will not be a bad son if I tell her, sorry, but if my relatives want to bask in the glory of my majestic presence, they can bloody well make the arduous journey to Chicago one of these days.

Comments

[gorkabear.livejournal.com]

But the real question is: will you have a family fight at Thanksgiving? If so, you can have a telenovela session. Monshu can bring popcorn :)

Seriously now... Jealousy between divorced parents is a bad thing. Now because my brother and my father doesn't speak to each other, we don't have to make the "What are we going to do for Christmas" conversation...

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

No, because I sent Mom a letter today explaining exactly why I won't be there! If she wants to fight, she'll need to beard me in my lair.

My parents do a pretty good job of not being jealous. Perhaps ironically, Dad is more jealous of the time we spend with his wife than with his ex-wife, so it'll be very interesting to see how he handles her visiting us without him.

[gorkabear.livejournal.com]

That is going to be a very interesting situation!
Good luck!

[princeofcairo.livejournal.com]

If my relatives want to bask in the glory of my majestic presence, they can bloody well make the arduous journey to Chicago.

Quoted, as the kids these days are saying, For Truth.

[richardthinks.livejournal.com]

they can bloody well make the arduous journey to Chicago

Or in my case, the US, which is a bit more of a stretch, but really: I don't want to hear about how they're not getting to see their grandkids for years on end if they can't make the move to get on a plane. We're right here, and we have surplus food and shelter and everything.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I think the only thing that motivates some young adults to have children is that it means never having to make the damn trip again. Everyone understands that taking tots cross-country (let alone cross the sea) is hell.

[richardthinks.livejournal.com]

nearly everyone. My father in law is, perhaps, the sole exception, but then, he's never flown.