What to ask the oncologist

[muckefuck]

Here's what I've come up with. Anyone have other suggestions?

1. Everything I read says that the prostate is "about the size of a walnut". Does it also taste like a walnut?
2. One of the remedies is called a "radical prostatectomy". This sounds so 1987. Don't you offer an "eXXXtreme prostatectomy" yet?
3. Another remedy is call "cryosurgery". If you do this one, how far in advance do you need to defrost the cryosurgeon?
4. What are the three laws of robotic prostatectomies?
5. In "brachytherapy", radioactive seeds are implanted through the rectum wall. But how will these grow where the sun never shines?
6. How high does a Gleason score have to be before you get one POW! right in the kisser?

Comments

[cruiser.livejournal.com]

You realize if you ask #5, he's going to look at you like your stupid. Then he'll answer "Duh! They're radioactive! They glow!"

[nitouche.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine had a nasal cancer (ewww) and faced the very real possibility of having her nose amputated (which thankfully did not happen). And yes, "But how will you smell?" jokes were thrown about with morbid glee, because sometimes that's the only way to handle the shit life hands you.

Much love.

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

Glad things didn't go as bad as they could've for her. Hope she's OK now.

[nitouche.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately it's the friend I mentioned in my last entry, so I only get news second-hand (in context, it seemed rather alarmist to use the past tense -- "I had a friend..."). But she was cancer-free before our relationship blew up, at least!

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the relationship, but glad she's doing better. It's kinda like divorce (harsh as it is) is no match for death.

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

The reason that #2 sounds so old-fashioned is because it's a retro pubic procedure.

[ceirdwenfc.livejournal.com]

I read you through dysgu_cymraeg, and enjoy your posts immensely. Sorry, that sounded a bit like an epitaph. Good luck with everything. *sending encouraging thoughts*, but you sound like you're okay.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Diolch i ti am ddymuno'n dda i mi--ac am ddarllen 'mhosti!

[princeofcairo.livejournal.com]

How about:

"If they remove the prostate gland, do you become an anarchist?"

[richardthinks.livejournal.com]

Does brachytherapy help/make you brachiate?

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

PS -- may I send this to my dad? If you want credit I'll give it, but if you want to be anonymous, OK.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Feel free to forward it, uncredited or otherwise. Any little bit I can do to reduce the amount of suckage inherent in such business I'm happy to do.

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I hope whoever you know who is facing this has a good outcome.

[sconstant.livejournal.com]

Ditto to this comment.

Also, just read this, might be useful to said whomever in choosing a path:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/08/27/regrets-after-prostate-surgery/

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that; I think it is helpful.

[kcatalyst.livejournal.com]

Hope things go well! Got any good questions to ask a neurosurgeon about a broken neck?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

"Will I ever be able to watch tennis again?"

[niemandsrose.livejournal.com]

Oi, I've had cryosurgery. Twice. In a place that's seriously not supposed to have frostbite, but that's kind of what it's like, actually.