Pimp my fridge!

[muckefuck]

So I think I've mentioned before the tips our agent gave us on staging. "Put out some expensive olive oil....You want them to think, 'If I buy this place, I'll be able to afford that.'" She also told us that people always check the refrigerator, so make sure it gleams. And mine really will once cleaned, since after I throw out everything that's expired, expendable, or just too icky to touch, they'll be nothing between the shine and viewer's eyes but a four-pack of beer and a jar of mustard. As I told monshu, "That does not say 'fabulous lifestyle'. That says 'sad bachelor'."

So what do I need to fill out the space? I could put in a couple bottles of wine, soymilk, and frou-frou juice. e. and I also hit upon yoghurt, which looks healthy and "never goes bad". Other suggestions? monshu suggested fresh fruit, be we have no idea how long the showings will go on and I'd rather not get something that I have to replace often. Do you know any place that sells realistic plastic meat?

Comments

[bwillsouth.livejournal.com]

You could just periodically irradiate the fruit.

Also, inclusions beyond beer and mustard to improve the bachelor index: porn mags in the fridge for some reason; a tupperware container with something now reduced to a brownish-green mush; a bong. Nothing says bachelor like putting a bong and some porn in your fridge.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Thanks: I'll keep those tips in mind for sabotaging my neighbours.

[richardthinks.livejournal.com]

actual semi-serious suggestions: eggs, cheese, bacon. Onions, zucchini, cauliflower. Hummus. None of those will go off overnight. Fruit in the fridge seems odd to me: apples and bananas in a dish on the countertop seems friendlier.

I don't know if anyone's suggested this yet, but the smell of baking bread does absolute wonders, and is more universal than brewing coffee. You don't have to actually make bread - you can buy baguette rolls half cooked at the supermarket and pop them in the oven. Hell, you can probably buy the smell in a can.

[lustronheloise.livejournal.com]

a bag of Intelligentsia or Metropolis coffee beans. oranges, because they stay fresh for weeks. so do sugar snap peas. spinach in a box (not bag) also has a lengthy fridge life span. perhaps some fresh pasta?

because your bon life is so vivant

[foodpoisoningsf.livejournal.com]

San Pellegrino, expensive mustards, dry vermouth, olives, white wine, oranges

Freezer: vodka, Hendricks gin, sorbet

Some stagers like to have a large bowl of lemons or Granny Smith apples out. I would also recommend cleared counters- nothing says this kitchen's too small than a clutter of small appliances, utensils, dish rack. Clear the surfaces... you might consider putting in a new refrigerator.

Re: because your bon life is so vivant

[cpratt.livejournal.com]

Also capers.

[bunj.livejournal.com]

Raw meat isn't very attractive. Especially when it's wrapped in plastic and lying on a styrofoam pallet. I wouldn't buy any meat to make my fridge look nice. Besides, you're trying to say "Normally, I eat at glamorous restaurants, but occasionally I make a wondrous meal out of healthy, natural ingredients in my spacious kitchen."

I would stick with the sort of things you'd serve at a cocktail party, or give to guests before you go out in the evening: a bottle of good white wine, some expensive water, frou-frou cheeses, olives.

Honestly, just hit the deli section of Whole Foods. They'll set you up.

[sconstant.livejournal.com]

How about a nice cookbook with beautiful cover illustration? But nothing too tome-y.

[sconstant.livejournal.com]

Not in the fridge, I mean, but to make the kitchen look all yuppie. Cooking for yourself with free-range produce is all the yuppie aspirational rage.

Re: because your bon life is so vivant

[foodpoisoningsf.livejournal.com]

Good point. In salt.

Anchovies may be risky.

[darth-libris.livejournal.com]

If you trim the ends off of asparagus and put them upright in a glass of water or small vase in your fridge, they are damned near deathless. And fresh veggies in a vase in your fridge goes a long way towards conveying a "here lives a hard core foodie" ethos.

[princeofcairo.livejournal.com]

A flat of pancetta or prosciutto. Eating it up and replacing it once a week or so will be no chore!

A wedge of really good Stilton.

A jar of Kalamata olives, and a jar of blue-cheese stuffed olives.

To keep the mustard company, exotic condiments: Thai fish sauce, massaman curry paste, microbrew hot sauce, three kinds of soy sauce.

And definitely put in the white wines.

Re: because your bon life is so vivant

[cpratt.livejournal.com]

Speaking personally, I find Italian canned tuna (or is it French? I can never remember) to be exceptionally beautiful when stacked around kitchens in homes that are for sale.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Capers was something she mentioned specifically--lulz for monshu, who knows I hate them worse than the devil.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I'm sure they have a package. "I need a condo-staging kit to go." "Sure, what price point? We're having a sale on $300,00-500,000 condo and townhome kits this week."

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Last Saturday, I had the genius idea to move my bookshelf with the cookbooks into the kitchen. Presto! Living room less cluttered and my huge Culinaria volume will stand out. I also want to find a fancier holder for my issues of Cooks Illustrated.

[richardthinks.livejournal.com]

Wow, reading the other comments here has made me face what parenthood has done to my habits. Of course you want asparagus, pancetta and white wine. Or limes, cachaca and fresh mint, vased per the asparagus.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Never did understand the whole vodka-in-the-freezer thing. But then, when I buy vodka, it's usually something I want to taste.

I've been debating what exactly to leave out. Just the knife block and one utensil jar (whisks, spatulas, etc.)? I've got some lovely green glass jars I was going to fill with rice, adzuki beans, and pasta and stand near the back.

[innerdoggie.livejournal.com]

Apples and citrus fruits will look nice and keep a long time in the fridge.

[isobel80.livejournal.com]

You may be able to find rubber replicas of meat at a restaurant supply place, probably in one of the Chinatowns.

[oh-meow.livejournal.com]

People in the US look inside your fridge when they are looking round your house? The nosy gits!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's worse than that. Our agent advised us to lock up our prescription medicines because they so often "go missing" after a few showings.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Maybe they'll be willing to shellac a roast duck for me.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

JPEG?

[oh-meow.livejournal.com]

Now I know where Ann Maurice gets her perfectionist ideas from, people really ARE looking down the back of your sofa in her experience, and judging your ability to provide them with a perfect house, based on it ..

[keyne.livejournal.com]

Mmm, cachaça.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Got that! (Though, once again, I don't understand the concept of storing it in the fridge. It's not like I ever drink it without icing it first.)

[keyne.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'd never refrigerate it either. But I'm not a wealthy gay yuppie :-)

[ceirdwenfc.livejournal.com]

(American here.) We actually didn't look inside the fridge of the house we ended up buying because I thought it was too personal to rifle through. We should have.