My ministry

[muckefuck]

There are times when my corner pub begins to feel like the snack bar at the Halfway House for Homeless Homos. Since I live in the last affordable neighbour with queer pubs on the North Side, the area tends to attract middle-age gay men whose lives are in transition. Fully half seem to have the identical sob story of a gorgeous house in 'burbs with a fantastic partner who had to go and get addicted/abusive/imprisoned/dead (check all that apply), leaving them in search of cheaper digs someplace less socially isolated.

That was the story with the nice guy I met last night. He recognised the Scoutmaster, who had called me at work to invite me out to $1 Burger Night, and confessed to us that he was about to leave after being stood up by a friend. So we adopted him for the evening. Apparently, he and his ex had hosted some wild parties at their suburban McMansion (the Scoutmaster recalled having sex with someone in their driveway), but the story of how that lifestyle came to a crashing halt apparently hadn't made it through the grapevine.

It was quite a sad one, at least for our man: Eight years together of watching his older lover give himself over more and more to hedonism until finally he delivered an ultimatum: "Meth or me." And the fool picked meth. So our man packed a bag and left. Left everything--from his snapshots to his saltwater fishtank. And now it's all in the government's hands.

See, the law caught up with his ex's and his boytoy and found them in possession of 200 grammes of methamphetamines--enough to put them away for a good long time. The ex is over 60 and our man doesn't expect he'll ever see the outside again. In the meanwhile, he's living in a tiny flat in Rogers Park and working two jobs. What happened to his successful career as a stylist? He didn't say, and I wasn't going to press. It all reminded me of how, back in the day, Nuphy "chewed his leg off" to escape his hysterical wife.

He'd been in the city a year, but only in the Far North for a few months, so he didn't know my lakeshore at all. It was a blustery night with nothing vernal about it, but I insisted on marching us off to the beach to burn some curly fries calories and hear the roar of the surf. SM objected (he was wearing suede wingtips, after all) until I mocked him into submission and we all had a merry jaunt to the edge of Foster Street Beach.

We dropped our man off at the Berwyn stop with promises that we'd get together with him again soon. And I hope we will: Anyone who'll follow me off into the howling north wind despite his sciatica is my kind of guy.

Comments

[areia.livejournal.com]

So I'm curious: is there a specific suburban neighborhood where all these seemingly blissful but impendingly doomed gay couples live, or are they spread around?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I haven't noticed a pattern. Two so far have even been from out of state (Brownsville and Washington DC).

[areia.livejournal.com]

Of course. I suppose being spread around would make it easier to stay undetected while they infiltrate unsuspecting suburban communities to spread their gay agenda and turn innocent children into depraved nymphomaniacs. Very smart of them.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Ah, but fortunately for America, their sex- and drug-addled lifestyles make their couplings too unstable for them to maintain their presence there for long. Sooner or later, their doomed "relationships" will fail, dumping them back into the inner city with the godless whores and drug addicts where they belong. That's when I come into the picture...

[areia.livejournal.com]

Well since I'm a godless whore I guess you'll be playing the role of the drug addict in this particular production of "Sodom and Gomorrah: The Musical".

[joebehrsandiego.livejournal.com]

I've run into couples that fit this profile (all of it) twice recently here in PS. One was from Naperville; one, from Schaumberg.

[grunter.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm . . . Scoutmaster.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

So predictable!

Do you want to be included on our next late-night hike?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

(Oh, and I suppose it would be uncharitable of me to point out that, as we were listening to the surf, the pressure of a pitcher and half of beer got to be too much for him and he whipped it out to relieve himself.)

[areia.livejournal.com]

Hey, some us have to drink the water from that lake!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

No fear--he did it up against a tree, als een hond! Of als iemand door wolven opgevoed?

[gorkabear.livejournal.com]

Remarkably I identify with the guy you mention.
Change middle age for 20s
Change US suburb for Barcelona suburbs
Change crystal meth for ecstasy and special k
Change settling because I kicked him out
But I guess that my luck has been somewhat better than him somewhat

[ladysophis2k8.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmm curly fries.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Wasn't there talk of you enjoying them with me in person? Or was that only wishful thinking on my part?

Hmmm

[arkanjil.livejournal.com]

You post made an interesting counterpoint to another article I ran across today

The times, they are a'changin...