Tastes great, less filled

[muckefuck]

Last week had something of the "j-curve" that people are talking about, only in reverse: It peaked on Wednesday and then troughed Friday morning before recovering at a lower level Friday night. As a result, I never felt in the mood to recount the fun we had in Milwaukee. In fact, I dithered so long that my brother beat me to the punch, which ordinarily never happens.

At least I can still go with my punchier top-ten list idea, namely:

Top Ten Reasons Why Miller Park Is A Better Place Than Cellular Field To Watch The Cards Play

1. It's named for a beer. A crappy beer, granted, but being a St. Louisan, this makes me feel right at home.
2. Despite the name, you can get Leinenkugel Weiss--ON TAP.
3. Bernie the Brewer looks like he could be a brewer (albeit a steroid-abusing hydrocephalic one), whereas the White Sox mascot looks like nothing so much as an alligator covered in bread mould.
4. The Milwaukee fans were perfectly nice to us, despite that fact that our team had definitively eliminated them from the playoffs only the night before.
5. What's not to love about four men in sausage costumes racing around the bases during the 7th-inning stretch? We also saw Mr and Mrs Miller (identifiable by the five-foot tall beer cans encasing their bodies) in the audience, leading us to wonder if some WPA-style make-work scheme for costumed mascots was in effect.
6. For $30, we were sitting directly beneath the press boxes.
7. There were actually men stationed at either entrance to this section to validate entry. Both times I walked in, I sailed right past them, forcing them to jog after me for several yards calling "Sir! Sir!" and then they apologised to me for the inconvenience.
8. I can't believe bunj forgot to mention The Iceman, a beer vendor beloved for his signature cry of (IPA follows) [ho::w] following a successful sale.
9. It took us roughly the same amount of time, door-to-door, to drive back to Chicago from Wisconsin as it did to wait in line for the CTA, ride it to downtown, and drive back home after the Sox game.
10. Like the Cell, Miller has fireworks, too, and they're not afraid to set them off EVEN WITH THE ROOF CLOSED.

It would've been nice to see Cards win for change, since, after all, they've been doing that a lot this year. But their record is even better at home and we're definitely going to see about getting tickets for New Busch next year. At least it was an 0-1 game with a dramatic homer in the bottom of the ninth rather than the ignominious massacre at Sox Park; as a special bonus, none of our star players was injured during play. Curse you, Chicago, and go Cards!

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[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

It's like some kind of bizarre anthropological experiment on a colossal scale.