MROW!

[muckefuck]

Y'know, I might be able to develop some interest in While You Were Out if the host weren't a smarmy bitch without a hint of charisma. Who woulda thunk it was that hard to be Paige Davis? Even the balding fey Aussie gardener can't compensate for her irritating shallowness--he's fun, but no Frank.

And we've always known Hildie to be a menace, but I'm finally convinced that--for the good of humanity--she must be stopped. Now. I just saw Hay Girl staple 6,000 flower heads to every wall in the bathroom of a nice, Southern couple that probably never did anyone any harm. Unless they are a husband-wife serial molestation/murder duo, they definitely never did anything to merit having their handsome cabinetry spray-painted GOLD METALLIC and cut out to allow for backlit RED VINYL PANELS.

"Saw" is actually a bit of overstatement. I couldn't bear to watch most of the time. I relied on Monshu's reactions to gauge just what new level of decorating horror the Princess of Darkness had achieved. "It screams 'whorehouse'. Not 'bordello'--'whorehouse'."

Comments

[bunj.livejournal.com]

I also said whorehouse, but I'm afraid that's an insult to those fine houses of prostitution. What it really says to me is a room designed by a nine-year old girl (not any nine-year old girl, mind you, but an obnoxious, tasteless one). Even the Abominable Dr. Phibes would have cringed at this room.

And, since Hilde thinks that wooden cabinets spray painted gold metallic with backlit red acrylic cut outs are 'classy', I'm calling our kitchen designer tomorrow. The flowers are probably a fire hazard, but I can at least have some of the Hilde look in my home.

It was a new low, and truly hideous to watch. For me, though, the real claw-my-eyes-out scene was Hilde, not a stitch of visible clothing, in a bathtub full of fake flowers. That shot will haunt me to the end of my days.

Confiscate her passport!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Oh, come on! It's not like she's hideous (on the outside, that is). In fact, I think her superficial stylishness and attractiveness only contribute to the impression that she is, in fact, a minion of Satan.

For me, the low point was when Paige asked, "What was your inspiration?" WHO FUCKING CARES? That's like asking, "Who Let the Dogs Out--where did the idea for that lyric come from?" And then, in reply, She-Devil casually mentions a trip to Paris--as if you have to go all the way to goddamn France to get such a cheesy, crappy idea when, really, you need go no further to the local shrine to Our Lady of Guadelupe in the nearest barrio. Next thing we know, she'll got to Lourdes and come back shrieking, "CRUTCHES! CRUTCHES AND BANDAGES ALL! OVER! THE WALLS!"

[lhn.livejournal.com]

I'd never heard of While You Were Out till now. From context I guessed that it was yet another in the Changing Rooms/Trading Spaces genre. (Though I'm not sure when that reached the point of being an actual genre. Maybe now.) But it was only when I looked at the web site that I understood the implications of the title.

prilicla was next to me as I was reading the part about contestants "apply[ing] without making their spouse or partner aware of this application." She turned to me and said, "That's one reason I love you."

"Because I'd never sign up for something like that-- unless it was necessary to save the life of a puppy or some such?"

"Yes. I wonder how many divorces and lawsuits have come out of that show. If I came home to that, that would be it."

"So we've pretty much established that the two major grounds for divorce in our relationship would be adultery and signing up for While You Were Out?"

"You know, I think I'd be more easily able to forgive adultery."

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Do four shows constitute a genre? (There's another BBC production, Ground Force, where a team of four professional have two days to give someone a new garden.)

And I can totally see what prilicla is saying. Depending on circumstances, adultery could be explained away as a spur-of-the-moment, impaired-judgement, it'll-never-happen-again tragic error, whereas participating in the show requires engaging in an elabourate campaign of deception spread out over the course of months. (In last night's show, it looked like the husband might come home early and the wife was freaking out. Our charmless host asked her, "Why? Because all those months of lying would be for nothing?" and the response was, "Yeah!") A person who would do that to a loved one--what wouldn't they be capable of?

Re: Confiscate her passport!

[bunj.livejournal.com]

Oh, come on! It's not like she's hideous (on the outside, that is). In fact, I think her superficial stylishness and attractiveness only contribute to the impression that she is, in fact, a minion of Satan.


I know it's mean to slag on someone for their appearance, but I have to disagree with this statement. Unlike Doug, rarely whips out the leather pants, but I wouldn't call her either stylish or attractive. She's not hideous, but she's also not someone I would like to see in a bath of faux flowers.

[merrill.livejournal.com]

(Sorry this is late, I've been away.)

Okay, Hildy and the Bathroom Where Flowers Go To Die was bad, but Frank-ly, I've seen worse. He is a menace, and the sole reason I would never apply to Trading Spaces. Vern or Doug or Laurie would be my top picks, and Hildy and the hippie girl (what's her name?) would be acceptable (as long as I didn't get live moss on the walls -- ack), but Frank makes my eyes bleed.

Oh, and Ty? Yum. Although the WYWO carpenter (british Andrew) is tasty as well.

Yes, the While You Were Out chickie is unbearably smarmy (how horrible are the quiz segments?), but she isn't nearly as bad as the old TS hostess, Alex McCloud (who can now be seen haranguing the women on Joe Millionaire). Ugh.

If you like catty makeover shows, don't miss What Not to Wear on BBC America. Fargin' brilliant.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Monshu's take on Frank: "I like Frank. I hate everything he's ever done, but at least he listens to people."

I agree. His style of country kitsch is so not us, 'taint even funny, but we're not the one's that have to live in his rooms. The people who do seem to love them, and that's what counts.

Did you see the episode with Sobbing Lady a while back? She and her husband had put a card on the fireplace saying, "DO NOT PAINT". Doug comes and what's the first thing he wants to do? He insists they have to paint the fireplace. He argues with the couple's friends until he finally sulks off and whines to Ty and the two of them conspire to build a fireplace cover and paint that.

Meanwhile, Sobbing Lady and her husband get Frank and have a ball. At one point, they're suppose to create a valise out of placemats or napkins or some crap. Frank tells them to do it one way, they do it another, and when he comes back he says, "I really like that! It's not what I was going to do, but I think it works." In any case, when they see their living room again, Sobbing Lady goes off camera and starts sobbing like a child. Paige awkwardly explains that the fireplace cover can be removed and the husband says, "That's going into the trash tonight."

No other episode brings home so clearly the difference between the Bad Designer (who has a "vision" and will steamroll over anyone's objections to complete it) and the Good Designer (who is flexible and committed to giving her clients what they want). Hildy and Doug are Bad, Laurie is often Bad (more than once, she's used the line, "Well, I'm the designer and I say we're doing it.") but redeems it with better taste, but Frank, Vern, and Genevieve (moss aside) are all Good.

Besides, Frank is cute as all get-out and entertaining as hell. I'll take his mincing over Doug's simpering any damn day of the week.

[merrill.livejournal.com]

I agree with your take on Frank being a fun guy, but what it comes down to is that he creates rooms with giant MDF pigs over the fireplace. 'Nuff said.

As for Sobbing Lady -- I must now expound on my Theory of Unhappy Trading Spaces Participants. Every time I've seen an unhappy result, it has been because the person/couple didn't embrace the spirit of Trading Spaces. "Oh, it doesn't look like the rest of our house." "Bwaaah, he covered my [fugly] fireplace." "Boo hoo, this is not what I would have done." Well, DUH! The whole point is to be surprised and to relinquish all control -- if you wanted it done exactly the way you wanted it, you should have done it yourself. If you expected free designer talent, labor, and materials but to control the situation, you were leading yourself down the garden path.

If one hires a designer, then of course, he/she should do whatever you want. But this is Trading Spaces -- the grab-bag of home design outcomes. You just don't know what will happen, and if you have the wrong attitude (don't do this / you must do that), you will inevitably be disappointed.

Did you see the sorority girls who defied Doug successfully?

[merrill.livejournal.com]

For anyone wondering, here's (http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/tradingspaces/episode/season3/episode27/interactive_03_53.html) the bathroom from hell. Yes, those are actual silk flowers stapled onto the walls.