A nutritious breakfast melts in your mouth, not in your hands

[muckefuck]

Years of apartment living have conditioned me to hoard every quarter which comes my way. My laundry jar is almost overflowing, but I still can't bring myself to spend a single one. Smaller coins stay in my pocket for the next time I weaken and make a vending-machine run. I've been a good boy all week, so they were beginning to pile up. Today, I decided to do something about that.

I know that, despite all the hype, breakfast bars are really just candy bars in disguise--and at a premium price--but my conscience needed soothing. I thought that handful of dimes and nickles would add up to the $1.75 I needed for a Balance Bar, but after loading them all in, I still ended up twenty cents short. Pondering a second choice, I was roped in by the sirenic charms of the golden-yellow M&Ms package front and centre.

I selected; it fell. Then the one behind it fell and I thought, Nuts, I guess when you put in more than twice the purchase price, it gives you two. Then the one behind that fell. On top of it all, my full amount of change was returned to me, transformed into three unspendable quarters.

Was the machine feeling generous? Or did I just confuse the hell out of it?

Comments

[niemandsrose.livejournal.com]

The M&Ms were, in turn, roped in by your sirenic charms.

[cruiser.livejournal.com]

Jackpot!

[gopower.livejournal.com]

Breakfast bars are evil, except for:

1. All-Bran bars which are chock full of fiber.

2. Kraft's South Beach Diet bars (formerly known as Post Carb-Control bars, but then that craze ended and a new one began). Despite the trendy name, they are high in protein and a decent amount of fiber for the calories of a candy bar. The cinnamon raisin flavor is the best.

Alas, there are found only on your grocer's shelves and not in magic vending machines.