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[personal profile] muckefuck
This morning I felt exhilarated. Snow was falling in huge soft flakes (actually, large clusters of flakes, as I discerned when they struck my gloves and broke apart) and traffic was light--at least on the side streets. Co-workers who drive have been filtering in with outraged reports of doubled or even tripled transit times. I had a lovely moment of Schadenfreude on the el when the conductor called our attention to the windows just as an airline pilot would so we could marvel at the endless string of cars on Chicago Avenue. "It doesn't get any smoother than this!" he told us; for once, he was right.

I love the quiet that a heavy snow brings. There was one particularly eerie moment when I stepped on the plaza in front of the building where I work and realised I couldn't see another soul and couldn't hear anything besides the hum of distant machinery and my own footfalls. Where was everyone? Some stayed in, some were only delayed. Yet it's striking how easy it is to get the impression that they simply don't exist, that the world is shrinking, dying, as it is progressively buried in snow.

I wonder if that's what death is like: Like lying on your back in a snowstorm. The soft flakes keep falling, blotting out light, muffling sound, cutting you off from the world. There's no pain, only a spreading numbness and something tells you you should get up and go inside, but all your limbs feel so heavy. And besides, there's snow falling on top of you and it's so pretty and so gentle. In fact, the German writer Hans Henny Jahn has written an appealing novella using this metaphor, Die Nacht aus Blei ("The Night of Lead"). Dying is like walking through the city on a cold winter's night when the streets are deserted and the snow keeps falling and falling, blurring the outlines and silencing all noise.

And, yet, far from making me feel melancholy, the snow creates joy. It feels like the world is being offered up strictly for my own enjoyment. If I were a young boy again, I would fully take advantage of that, running around in coat and snow pants until I was sodden and shivering. Now it's enough to stand by the window and simply watch the flakes falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.
Tags:
Date: 2002-12-03 08:32 am (UTC)

schneetreiben

From: (Anonymous)
Ich wünschte ich könnte mit dir am Strand spazieren, den Schnee spüren, deine Hand (ohne Handschuh) halten, eine kleine Schneeballschlacht provozieren ...

aber Träume sind Schäume (Nina Hagen)

ich träum trotzdem weiter.

Sei umarmt,
N.
Date: 2002-12-03 11:10 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] bunj.livejournal.com
Thanks,

I was having kind of a crappy day, but now I'm thinking about running around the house in Troy, tossing snowballs at each other. Maybe hiding behind the yew bush for an ambush, or making a snow cave for Han and Luke and their Taun-tauns.

I guess this is my answer to rollick's mini-poll.
Date: 2002-12-03 12:30 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com
Crappy day? You must've driven (bzw. ridden).
Date: 2002-12-04 11:58 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] bunj.livejournal.com
It wasn't the weather's fault. I was actually singing "Holly Jolly Christmas" on the way to work. The problems started once I got there. I had someone say to me today: "They treat you so poorly because you don't bring in business. The higher-ups feel they could replace anyone lower than VP level in a minute." It's up in the air how full of shit that statement is, but it does depress one.
Date: 2002-12-03 12:58 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile] mollpeartree.livejournal.com
Actually, that's a pretty good description of what it's like to die while walking through a heavy snow, or so I'm told. Reportedly the urge to lie down and fall asleep is overwhelming. (My strongest snow memory is of the first really big blizzard I ever experienced, in Omaha back in the 70's. The snow drifts were 4-6' tall and reached up to the windows on our split-level house; 42 people who got caught out in it died, which occasioned a plethora of news stories about succumbing to the temptation to sleep. I elected not to share that in rollick's journal because everyone else was talking about sledding and frolicking and whatnot. Snow is very dangerous, boys and girls!)
Date: 2002-12-03 01:24 pm (UTC)

Ken Responds

From: (Anonymous)
And people wonder why this marriage works.
Date: 2002-12-03 01:29 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com
All the more reason to contribute! Isn't one of your most important functions providing balance?

(Besides, as I remember, the sledding stories also involved loss of life, so it's not like you'd have the sole morbid contribution.)

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