Inauspicious beginnings

[muckefuck]

This morning, I was admiring the light snowfall that had dusted the walks and yards and was just beginning to collect in the needles of the pines and junipers when I ran into a desperate woman on the street. At first, I thought she was asking directions to Mercy Hospital, but soon enough I realised she was trying to get me to take her there. I told her I didn't drive and she began telling me that she was "bleeding bad" and was HIV- and couldn't I help her? I told her call an ambulance, but she said that they only take you to the nearest hospital and couldn't I help her get a taxi "with my ID and my wedding ring". The more she assured me that she wasn't asking for money, the more convinced I ended up that she was.

So I told her I couldn't help her and hurried along. Of course, I couldn't help playing the exchange--probably less than a minute in all--over in my head and rationalising my behaviour. Is it wrong to think that beggars can't be chosers? If she's in that much distress (I looked, but didn't notice any blood), why not go to the nearest hospital? If she's not, why take a cab instead of CTA? Why is she throwing herself at the mercy of complete strangers anyway? Is it really possible that she doesn't know anyone who could help her out in a situation like this? If so, why? Harsh luck or abusive personality? And does it matter when determining how much pity I should feel?

Almost two decades in this city, innumerable sob-stories from strangers, and I still suck at determining people's motives in situations like these. No matter what, I always feel like a mark. Like people see a well-off white boy on the street and figure that I'm gullible enough to give them money. Sometimes, they make it really obvious, like when they panhandle every light-skinned person who walks by leave other African-Americans alone. Mostly, though, there's little or no context: Suddenly, someone I've never seen before and know nothing about is in my face and making demands. My solution is to say "No" to everyone; I can't imagine how boundless my rage would've been had I made myself late to work in order to help this woman and found that she was just cadging a ride to the South Side. But it doesn't bode well for the development of my own sense of compassion this coming year.

Comments

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

You know, I think I knew that. My old shop steward at the U of C always used to say that even if he were shot on the steps of the U of C Hospital, he would tell the ambulance team to take him to Michael Reese.

[gopower.livejournal.com]

These days, he'd be out of luck (unless it was a flesh wound) since both U of C and Michael Reese dropped their Level 1 trauma programs years ago. He'd have to go to Stroger (County) Hospital or Nortwestern. Cook County subsidizes trauma care only at its own hosptital, not much of a consolation if you bleed to death on the way across town.