A Cuisinart of Earthsea

[muckefuck]

I had my expectations for the SciFi Channel's Legend of Earthsea set pretty darn low but, alas, not nearly low enough--despite owenthomas's warning. Lord, what a travesty. It's not that I'm a purist about adaptations or a devotee of Earthsea in particular--in fact, I'm struggling with boredom in the third book now--but the project just smacks of something that was greenlighted because LotR made a billion zillion dollars and not because anyone involved had any affinity or, indeed, understanding of the material. I can't figure who the target audience was: Fans of the books will hate it and I can't see anyone liking it enough to seek out the books.

Full disclosure: I missed the first 1.3 hours. Imagine my confusion when I waltzed in, thinking I needed only to be told where we were in the story to catch up, and had to have monshu explain to me every development from the very beginning. Basically, they dropped the first two books into a blender and pulsed several times: Most of the major elements and incidents were present, but they had been rearranged and altered in ways too numerous to mention.

Again, not necessarily a deal-breaker. A good script could still have emerged from this, but that would've taken either more skilled, more unfettered, or more dedicated writers. As it was, the changes came across as arbitrary or lazy or both; much of what makes LeGuin's work distinctive was lost and all the characters made stupider decisions. The dialogue was uneven at best and often hackneyed, shifting between near-modern phraseology and fantasty cliches. Even worse were the ham-handed attempts to be tongue-in-cheek. (In four hours, I laughed once.)

The best cast imaginable would've been hard-pressed to sell those lines and this was so not that cast. Who the hell is Shawn Ashmore? SciFi kept calling him "X-Men's Shawn Ashmore" but I can't imagine this. He's a total lightweight, made the hero completely unlikeable, and is unattractive to boot. Does he have an uncle on the production team? Kreuk may shine on "Smallville", but here gave some of the most unconvincing line-readings I've heard outside of community theatre. The rest of the cast was adequate; at least, I'd like to think that the (English-accented, natch) actors playing heavies are capable of acting if called upon to do so.

All in all, a disappointing way to waste an evening. monshu can tell you that I was bouncing in and out of the room trying to get some shopping research done on line. I never seemed to miss anything that couldn't be summarised in a sentence or two. The effects were decent and the scenery pretty, but the visual style never even appraoched the level of the recent Dune adaptations, so I was less than captivated.

It's showing again next Sunday. You must have something waiting on TiVo infinitely more deserving of your attention than this.

Comments

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Shawn Ashmore was the kid in X-Men who has ice powers and a thing for Rogue. *yawn* I've officially decided to skip this miniseries in favor of something actually amusing---like writing pr0n.

[owenthomas.livejournal.com]

Told ya so told ya so told ya so.

Plus I had dim sum lunch with Peg and Barb today and *you didn't*.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Yeah? Well, I saw a stunning world-class production of Janáček's Příhody lišky Bystroušky last night after stuffing myself on real German food made by Germans from Germany. When's the last time you did either?

[keyne.livejournal.com]

Now, see, if you were still following utd you'd know to stay away. :}

LeGuin has made her feelings on the production eminently clear:

http://trashotron.com/agony/columns/2004/12-15-04.htm
http://www.ursulakleguin.com/UKL_Info.html#News

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Well, I've been making cluck-cluck noises all along--just the casting alone told me this was probably going to suck hard--but monshu wasn't to be talked out of it. He has a much greater tolerance for certain kinds of sucky movie--particularly the kind which SciFi Channel prefers--than I do. And he's not on u.t.d, nor would he ever be!

[robling-t.livejournal.com]

(In four hours, I laughed once.)

I turned it off after the first hour because I was laughing so hard I couldn't follow the story, but then, that was laughing at it, not with it...