Free food

[muckefuck]

In his most recent entry, scathedobsidian relates his experiences offering food to street beggars. Mine are broadly similar. The last time I got taken in by a panhandler, I swore I'd never again give money. Now I tell them, "I only give food." Hardly anyone ever accepts. Here's a typical encountre from about a week back:

I swung by Mei Shung on my way to monshu's and picked up two entrees and and an appetiser. At the door to the lobby, I was politely accosted by a scruffy middle-aged black man. He started into a typical shpil and when he came to the part about not having eaten in a couple days, I said, "I've got food!" I started rooting around in the bag for something to give him. He said, "No, man, I don't want to take away your dinner. That's rude." I told him, "There's plenty--here" and offered him a small box, saying, "There are onion cakes." He looked into it and said, "I don't even know what those are." I replied, "They're just onion, flour..." but he was already moving away and apologising for having bothered me.

I was reminded of topaz_munro's generalised account of offering leftovers to beggars in Hyde Park, of having to field suspicious questions about pad thai and have the person turn it down in the end. After year upon year of experiences like these, it's hard not to grow cynical and sceptical.

Comments

[lhn.livejournal.com]

I'm a little surprised, since for a while it seemed as if we couldn't walk back to the L from dinner downtown without someone asking for our leftovers.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Really? I've never had someone ask me for some of my leftovers. I always end up being the one who makes the offer. I even remember one time in HP where I gave a guy my doggie bag and, when he opened it, he said, "Hey, this been eatin' at!"

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

I've had people ask me a couple of times; I always turn them over if so. This is 2 or 3 times over 20 years of getting panhandled, mind you; it is always a little surprising.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I've got a handful of those stories too. Sometimes I still will give street people money, just because I want to do something, no matter how futile.

Or remember the guy who used to ride the Red Line who was so horribly scarred by burns? And after he died, it turned out that practically every plastic surgeon in town had offered him reconstructive surgery for free, but he turned it down because his appearance allowed him to make enough money begging to support his heroin habit, which killed him.

A long time ago, I had a really judgemental attitude about such people, as if addiction was some sort of character flaw. Coming to terms with RJ's addiction and my enabling of it changed that. Now I just feel so sad to think of it. I'm not willing to continue throwing money at someone who cannot escape from their physical need for a particular substance. But at the same time, it doesn't hurt me to give them $.50, and if that $.50 IS used for something like a phone call or a pay shower or a cup of coffee on a cold day, I'm willing to play the odds.

[niemandsrose.livejournal.com]

I actually had a good experience with some homeless gutter punks on Belmont. They begged; I offered them my doggie bag; they said "what is it?"; I told them: "vegetarian tofu loaf"; they said "cool!" and dug in.

But I remember it so clearly because it was so clearly an exception.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Ha! I was walking home from the train one day and when I wouldn't give money to the gutter punks, one of them called me a yuppie. I whipped around and snarled, "I know how much 13-hole Docs cost, and I can't afford them. I get the J. Peterman catalog, so I know how much those pants cost you, and I can't afford them. If you're wearing clothes I can't afford when I work my ass off, I'm not giving you any of my goddam money."

They were all like "whoa."

It was sweet.

[lhn.livejournal.com]

"I know how much 13-hole Docs cost, and I can't afford them. I get the J. Peterman catalog, so I know how much those pants cost you

Wow. I'd count myself as doing well to be able to confidently testify that they were wearing shoes and pants. My registering color or general style is unlikely-- manufacturer more or less inconceivable. I'm impressed that you were able to not only take that in at a glance but make use of it like that.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I think it comes as a surprise to no one at all on my Friends list that caitalainn is far, far more aware of and interested in clothing than lhn (the predilictions of the fictional Calanar notwithstanding).

[lhn.livejournal.com]

Next you'll tell me that a Ferragamo pump isn't used to inflate Ferragamo tires, or that Dolce & Gabbana isn't the name of Baskin-Robbin's new caramel/plantain ice cream flavor.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

I'm screaming on the inside.

[pheret1.livejournal.com]

I had a very sweet friend who saw a homeless guy digging a half-eaten tupperware of tuna salad out of a garbage pail, remembered that she had some crackers in her bag, and went over to him and offered him a full sleave of Ritz crackers. When he declined, she told him that he couldn't have tuna salad without Ritz - they go so well together. He accepted them and smiled.

Maybe it is pride.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Maybe, though I have trouble understanding how you could be too proud to take someone's food while shamelessly begging for their loose change.

[pheret1.livejournal.com]

I don't either. But I don't understand why this guy would rather eat out of a garbage pail than take an unopened sleeve of crackers. After she assured him, he seemd really happy to take it.

Also, I'm pretty sure that mental illness has a lot to do with homelessness (from my experience at shelters). I don't understand a lot about it.

Could be

[vokzal.livejournal.com]

that they just don't know what pad thai is and are scared of it.

People here take my chips all the time.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

My reaction to that is: Then how hungry could you be? You'll take something familiar out of a dumpster in preference to something strange wrapped in styrofoam? I know that if I really hadn't eaten anything in "a couple of days", there's not much I would turn down as long as it wasn't foul-smelling or spoiled.

[keyne.livejournal.com]

I think you mean topaz_munro?

Fixed!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

It didn't look quite right, but I'm having one of those days where nothing looks quite right.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Case in point: Someone just wrote "Shenzen" in their journal and my immediately thought was HAH! Spelled it wrong, numbnutts! Then it occurred to me Hey, isn't that the spelling that appeared in the Economist yesterday? What if I'm the one who's wrong? Have I really been misspelling it all these years?

So I looked it up and I was right, it is "Shenzhen". But I had to look it up to be sure. Before you know it, I'll be calling my brother to make sure I'm spelling my last name correctly.

[zompist.livejournal.com]

Some church friends of mine had a policy, some time ago, of offering to take spare-changers to McDonald's. IIRC quite a few took them up on it. So maybe the guys you're meeting just can't deal with hippie food.

Completely wild speculation: money is universal and therefore depersonalized. Maybe accepting food feels like eating someone else's food which they just find icky. (Why dumpster-diving then? Well, maybe trash is depersonalized too; it's no longer eating someone else's food, it's prospecting. Am I just making this stuff up? No, no, I'm offering hypotheses.)

I really dislike the sob-story-mongers tho'. They give giving a bad name.