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Apr. 15th, 2019 11:51 am
Snowing men
The universe must have heard my cries of distress last week because it sent me men. One visit was drunken and farcical, one was charming and promising, and one was a lovely prospect that failed to materialise.
Let's begin with the farce: the neighbour's landscaper friend who was drunken before 2 p.m. We'd made out ill-advisedly one night last year or the year before when I was horny and he was drunk. I'd concluded that we'd both recognised it as a mistake which is why we'd gone back to meaningless flirting. Today I learned the truth: my neighbour had specifically warned him against getting involved with me (because, you know, I'm so tragic and vulnerable) and he'd tried to respect that.
So again, I was horny, he was drunk, and I thought I was on track for some quick head. Nope, he wanted me to fuck him so I was like, no dice, my lunch is getting cold. I was already regretting it at that point. He's not really my type and I'm not really his (which--for some reason--he likes to mention during foreplay A LOT, 'cause everyone knows how much quasinegging turns us on) so hopefully this will be forgotten quickly as well.
Fortunately, that morning I also heard from the cute little guitarplaying bear I've been half-heartedly chasing since...a cocktail party in February? In any case, he's been gigging a lot lately, but out in the 'burbs so I'm excused from having to attend. He got very close to asking me out but shied away and I decided to press the issue, which resulted in a brunch date for early Sunday morning.
It was all very lovely. We had wet snow which kept the place from filling up and allowed us to have an actual conversation. He opened up a bit about his past relationship (bad) and where's at now (good and trying to get better) and I was relieved to find that we have enough conversation to fill at least a couple of hours. Afterwards, we hit the dispensary so he could stock up and then Middle Eastern Bakery so I could stock up, with a detour to a gallery since it was the only place open before 11 a.m. on that stretch that didn't serve coffee and we'd had too much already. (It wasn't even open, but the owner saw us cowering in a niche and let us in anyway.)
We only had an hour before he had to rush home to take the neighbour's kid to a concert so I whisked him home to hopefully at least get him partially undressed. His chest is hairy as a coconut and his nipples are well-connected, so score. He's more of a snuggler than a passionate tumbler, but I can work with that. I didn't insist on a second date because he seems like the kind that can't be rushed but he knows my week is open so we'll see.
And finally there's the enchanting prospect. This was someone I had terrific sex with last year who thought he might have to overnight in Chicago due to the storm system over the Upper Midwest. But if there's weather here, O'Hare is the first place to have problems, so it was a nonstarter. Fortunately I was able to mix together just the right amount of hope and realism, which motivated me to get off the couch and tidy up with a warm feeling in my loins. Every Sunday should be like that.
Let's begin with the farce: the neighbour's landscaper friend who was drunken before 2 p.m. We'd made out ill-advisedly one night last year or the year before when I was horny and he was drunk. I'd concluded that we'd both recognised it as a mistake which is why we'd gone back to meaningless flirting. Today I learned the truth: my neighbour had specifically warned him against getting involved with me (because, you know, I'm so tragic and vulnerable) and he'd tried to respect that.
So again, I was horny, he was drunk, and I thought I was on track for some quick head. Nope, he wanted me to fuck him so I was like, no dice, my lunch is getting cold. I was already regretting it at that point. He's not really my type and I'm not really his (which--for some reason--he likes to mention during foreplay A LOT, 'cause everyone knows how much quasinegging turns us on) so hopefully this will be forgotten quickly as well.
Fortunately, that morning I also heard from the cute little guitarplaying bear I've been half-heartedly chasing since...a cocktail party in February? In any case, he's been gigging a lot lately, but out in the 'burbs so I'm excused from having to attend. He got very close to asking me out but shied away and I decided to press the issue, which resulted in a brunch date for early Sunday morning.
It was all very lovely. We had wet snow which kept the place from filling up and allowed us to have an actual conversation. He opened up a bit about his past relationship (bad) and where's at now (good and trying to get better) and I was relieved to find that we have enough conversation to fill at least a couple of hours. Afterwards, we hit the dispensary so he could stock up and then Middle Eastern Bakery so I could stock up, with a detour to a gallery since it was the only place open before 11 a.m. on that stretch that didn't serve coffee and we'd had too much already. (It wasn't even open, but the owner saw us cowering in a niche and let us in anyway.)
We only had an hour before he had to rush home to take the neighbour's kid to a concert so I whisked him home to hopefully at least get him partially undressed. His chest is hairy as a coconut and his nipples are well-connected, so score. He's more of a snuggler than a passionate tumbler, but I can work with that. I didn't insist on a second date because he seems like the kind that can't be rushed but he knows my week is open so we'll see.
And finally there's the enchanting prospect. This was someone I had terrific sex with last year who thought he might have to overnight in Chicago due to the storm system over the Upper Midwest. But if there's weather here, O'Hare is the first place to have problems, so it was a nonstarter. Fortunately I was able to mix together just the right amount of hope and realism, which motivated me to get off the couch and tidy up with a warm feeling in my loins. Every Sunday should be like that.