Bunnicula had it easy

I suppose it follows from some general principle that soon after revealing my personal rule on balancing the tone of my entries I'd end up violating it. I was kind of hoping for some kind of amusing fallout to the story of Crazy Neighbour Attacks Tree that would naturally complement that earlier post, but it doesn't look like I can count on the universe to be so cooperative. She's been lying so low, we'd thought she'd fled to the burbs for a while until monshu and I heard movements on the porch last night that belie that. I have a picture in my head of her sitting in her dark kitchen surrounded by garbage she's too cowardly to take out the back and subsisting on whatever canned food she can find forgotten in the cabinets.

Other than that, the most exciting news from the condo is the purchase of a new firepit. monshu and I watched our next-door neighbour assemble it on the back porch last night and, since it's basically a wide shallow bowl on a very low stand, I naturally brought up the prospect of filling it with human blood during some horrifying crepuscular ritual. Said neighbour complained that it would take a lot of blood, but nobody--not even his spouse the nurse--knew how much is in a human body, so it's hard to judge the overall degree of mayhem required. Dr Lazyweb tells me "about five litres, depending on body weight" so I reckon one or two sizable adults would be all we'd need. That leaves their family off the hook, because they are a race of tiny people.