Not before Thanksgiving!

If you know me personally, you will not be surprised to find that monshu had to drag me kicking and screaming to the mall yesterday. The first place we went to was Crate & Barrel which was already fully decked out for Christmas. Worse, they were playing Christmas carols and, worser still, no sooner had I stepped inside when I was assaulted with "Jingle Bell Rock" (universally acknowledged as one of the Top Three Shittest Christmas Songs Ever). I said to myself, Cosmos, you are not making this one bit easier as I gritted my teeth and trudged along after my man and we looked high and low for a particular lamp that wasn't even in that store.

(It turns out that it was the C2 catalog he was looking in. Most important lesson of the trip: Always bring the catalog with you.)

The crowds were heavier than I'd expected. On top of that, almost everyone in line seemed to be clutching some Christmassy gee-gaw or another, leading me to conclude that my anti-retailer rants about Holiday Creep are somewhat misguided. We are simply living in a sick society. Evidence of this came on the trip home: I counted three Christmas trees on display in the block adjacent to ours alone and we passed at least four Christmas tree lots on Ashland on the way up.

आज का शब्द / آج كا شبد / ਅੱਜ ਦਾ ਸ਼ਬਦ

गांड़ / گانڙ gaaMR "arse, buttocks" (< Sanskrit गण्डः gaNDah "cheek"; cf. Panjabi ਗੰਡ gaND "idem.")

This is a vulgarity used liberally in the modern Mumbai crime novel I'm reading, so I was more than a little surprised to find not only it in Platts but also a variety of idioms incorporating it. For instance, the worrying गांड़ फटना gaaMR phaaRnaa (lit. "arse tearing") "get into a funk, ge frightened, come under pressure" and the puzzling गांड़-गलत gaaMR galat (lit. "arse-error") "senseless, stupefied". Of course, more literal expressions were there as well, e.g. गांड़मराओ gaaMR-maraao (lit. "arse-strikee") "catamite". (As I told monshu, best not to think too deeply about what Victorian Englishmen would need such vocabulary for.)

More recent idioms incorporating the word include गांड़ मत्ती gaaMR mastee (lit. "arse intoxication") which seems to mean something along the lines of "screwing around" and गांड़ चौड़ी करके घूमना gasaMR chauRee karke ghoomnaa (a vulgar twist on लम्बी चौड़ी हांकना lambee chauRee haMkaa "boast"). But by far the most common derivative in modern use seems to be गांडू gaaNDoo [note the lack of lenition] which originally meant "sodomite" and is now a general term of a abuse, particularly for a weak or timorous man.

Strangely, the word गांड़ isn't in Shabdkosh, but a term of similar meaning is गुदा / گدا / ਗੁਦਾ gudaa "anus" which appears in such phrases as गुदा द्वार / ਗੁਦਾ-ਦੁਆਰ gudaa dwaar "arsehole" (द्वार dwaar "door, entryway") and गुदा मैथुन gudaa maithun "anal sex".