All better now, really!

Apologies for yesterday's "pretty maudlin" entry. monshu and I had a beautiful talk last night. We spoke openly and freely about things which have been running under the surface for months, even years. It appears more has changed that I ever would've expected, all of it in a good way. He gave quite reasonable grounds for his delay in merging our estates, as it were. But I can accept a few years more waiting time since, at long last, we are working towards something together. (To use my hyperbolic metaphor, I'm now in an antechamber rather than a holding cell.) We've even made tentative plans to acquire complementary furniture pieces in similar styles so that when we combine our belongings, it won't result in a hodgepodge.

My fear of commitment is still overwhelmed by my incredulity that I could be so lucky as to be so important to such an outstanding man. This is what I want from my new condo! A feeling that I'm not quite worthy of that which I've managed to sink my meathooks into; imperfect though it may be, it still gives me more joy than I quite feel I deserve.