Jul. 25th, 2003 04:05 pm
All better now, really!
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muckefuckApologies for yesterday's "pretty maudlin" entry. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
monshu and I had a beautiful talk last night. We spoke openly and freely about things which have been running under the surface for months, even years. It appears more has changed that I ever would've expected, all of it in a good way. He gave quite reasonable grounds for his delay in merging our estates, as it were. But I can accept a few years more waiting time since, at long last, we are working towards something together. (To use my hyperbolic metaphor, I'm now in an antechamber rather than a holding cell.) We've even made tentative plans to acquire complementary furniture pieces in similar styles so that when we combine our belongings, it won't result in a hodgepodge.
My fear of commitment is still overwhelmed by my incredulity that I could be so lucky as to be so important to such an outstanding man. This is what I want from my new condo! A feeling that I'm not quite worthy of that which I've managed to sink my meathooks into; imperfect though it may be, it still gives me more joy than I quite feel I deserve.
monshu and I had a beautiful talk last night. We spoke openly and freely about things which have been running under the surface for months, even years. It appears more has changed that I ever would've expected, all of it in a good way. He gave quite reasonable grounds for his delay in merging our estates, as it were. But I can accept a few years more waiting time since, at long last, we are working towards something together. (To use my hyperbolic metaphor, I'm now in an antechamber rather than a holding cell.) We've even made tentative plans to acquire complementary furniture pieces in similar styles so that when we combine our belongings, it won't result in a hodgepodge.My fear of commitment is still overwhelmed by my incredulity that I could be so lucky as to be so important to such an outstanding man. This is what I want from my new condo! A feeling that I'm not quite worthy of that which I've managed to sink my meathooks into; imperfect though it may be, it still gives me more joy than I quite feel I deserve.
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(I concur with the other opinions that you shouldn't buy if it doesn't feel right, btw. If you can extend your lease, that seems like a better idea, to give yourself a little breathing room and not do anything until you're really comfortable with it. For me, the only thing that allowed me to cope with the breathtaking amount of debt involved in the mortgage was: "But we really like the house. The house is good.)