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[personal profile] muckefuck
The Neanderthal (so named because of his skull measurements) was a year ahead of me in high school. He hosted me as a prospie at his college and did more than anyone to talk me into going there. In any case, he's an avid biker and used to ride all around the city. Once, he was biking through Cabrini-Green--at that time the worst neighbourhood in Chicago (and, thus, one of the worst in the nation)--when a cruiser pulled up behind him. The cop asked, "Do you know where you are?" He said he had a rough idea. The cop gave him the shortest directions out of the ghetto and said, "I'll follow you all the way."

I told this story to a former co-worker who liked to take Shank's pony anywhere and everywhere in the city. He said, "Yeah, I've heard that lots of times. Do you know where you are, white boy?". This is something like the reaction I sometimes get when checking out at ethnic groceries--the clerks can't quite believe that I really intended to buy what I did. Like that time at the gift shop that the woman flipped through the pages of my Chinese calendar to show me that, actually, it's in Chinese. "Is that okay?" Um, that's the whole reason I'm buying it so, yeah, that's okay. As you may have guessed from my previous posts, this still amuses me every time.

It happened again at the Korean grocery on Sunday. I put a package of songphyeng, a snack I buy every time I'm in Koreatown, on the belt and she picked it up and explained what they were. When I asked if she had Paykseycwu by the box, she immediately directed an employee to fetch one, but then, as I was paying, said, "If you don't like the wine, bring it back and we'll give you something else." I smiled and assured her that we like Paykseycwu very much and had no intention of returning it. Then she threw in a set of Korean drinking cups for free.

(She didn't question my natto purchase. Perhaps even she didn't know what it was?)

Has this ever happened to the rest of you? Have you ever had a checkout clerk turn to you with concerned look and ascertain that, yes, you know what it is you're buying and, yes, you have every intention of consuming it or otherwise putting it to its proper use?
Date: 2004-02-17 08:44 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] alfaboy.livejournal.com
i stopped at a roadside stand in north carolina and attempted to buy some boiled peanuts. The proproprietor, apparently in response to hearing the round brown tones that tipped him off i wasn't a local, told me, "you better try one first... you might not like 'em..."
Date: 2004-02-17 08:47 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] mollpeartree.livejournal.com
I bought a knitting book once in a Russian-language bookshop, and the clerk refused to believe that I didn't speak Russian. We went around and around on it a couple of times, and I think he still thought I was messing with him. But the thing was, the book had charts, and knitting has a pretty standard vocabulary that I thought I'd be able to figure out in Russian if I needed to, and I just thought the 50's-era Soviet-bloc fashion drawings were cool. I've never tried to make anything from the book, but I still pull it out and look it over from time to time.
Date: 2004-02-17 08:50 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] rollick.livejournal.com
Nope, but then again, I never go into stores looking for Wrong Candy.

I *have* had waitrons warn me, with serious concern, that the food I was ordering was spicy. Uh, yeah, that's why I'm ordering it…
Date: 2004-02-17 09:22 am (UTC)

Re:

From: [identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com
Nope, but then again, I never go into stores looking for Wrong Candy.

I don't go looking for Wrong Candy. It finds me! I was tempted by the bags of burnt-rice candy, but they were only available in bulk and even I can't find a use for two kilos of [i]nulungci sathang[/i].
Date: 2004-02-17 09:40 am (UTC)

Re:

From: [identity profile] rollick.livejournal.com
Ugh. One piece of that stuff was more than enough for me.
Date: 2004-02-17 09:07 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] snowy-owlet.livejournal.com
I, too, have only had such comments from waiters. "You know what that is, right?"
Date: 2004-02-17 09:22 am (UTC)

Well, sorta....

From: [identity profile] febrile.livejournal.com
I think my favorite was going into a barber shop in Uptown and asking for a haircut. I was definitely the only white in the barber shop, and I would guess the first in a good while. Thought I'd try it out.

It was a decent haircut -- nothing great, nothing terrible. Alls I know is that nobody spoke to me the whole time I was there.
Date: 2004-02-17 09:52 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] go-wade-in.livejournal.com
i get the opposite treatment. just because i'm Asian doesn't mean i know anything about Japanese or Korean food. and stop speaking to me in Cantonese--i don't %$#&@ understand it!
Date: 2004-02-17 09:54 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com
We almost always end up trading recipes, cause I usually ask "so how do YOU cook it?" ... I don't mind if I look a bit dumb doing it, cause once you ask, people are generally delighted to chat and you find out the coolest things. One such eposiode lead to the best pork, lotus nut and winter melon soup I've ever eaten (it was the most comforting comfort food ever) followed by truly degenerate sex under the watchful eye and serious smile of Chairman Mao.

The worst such experience I ever had was in Atlanta ... I'd never seen ... uh, hell what are they called, those big round musky-scented grapes ... muscatels, I think? anyway a brown-skinned woman was selling them off a cart downtown near the city hall, and I went over to buy some (naive Canadian that I am). Well aparrently this was a *brown people* fruit cart, cause first of all she looked at me like - "what do you want" then I said, what are these? and she said "you got no cause to complain about them" ... it took several tries to explain to her that I was from Canada and didn't know what they were, and still longer to convince her to sell me some. Meanwhile my white companion was making like we weren't together, wandering away. When I was trying to pay her I gave her a 20 and she wouldn't take it, "you cayn't fool me wid dat.." Don't ever tell me Atlanta is "integrated" ... two cities occupying the same buildings.
Date: 2004-02-17 10:08 am (UTC)

Re:

From: [identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com
Scuppernongs?

Too bad about your trying time in Atlanta. We had basically the opposite experience: We asked someone at the breakfast place near our hotel for dinner recommendations and she sent us to a hole-in-the-wall a several blocks away. The proprietress was very friendly and the food was fantastic home-style Southern cooking; it was halfway through the meal before we noticed that there no other paleskins around and on the way back home before we thought that, just maybe, walking all the way wasn't the safest choice. An acquaintance was supposed to meet us there, but when he told the cab driver the name of the restaurant, he took him to a different restaurant of the same name outside the city limits. (It wasn't stated, but I'm willing to bet the clientele at the other place was mostly Caucasian, meaning our friend had a "the white boy couldn't possibly mean there!" experience.)

The clerk offered me some advice about storing and reheating the songphyeng. If it works, then I may have cause to be thankful for my appearance!
Date: 2004-02-17 05:54 pm (UTC)

Re:

From: [identity profile] bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com
What I hated about it was her obvious fear that I was up to no good and trying to "get" her somehow, which speaks volumes about social conditions; then add to that my supposedly-liberal, supposedly-anti-racist friend, walking away.
Date: 2004-02-17 11:14 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] gopower.livejournal.com
No odd food stories, but...

Back in undergrad days, I was helping run our debate tournament. The U of Toronto team bailed on our party (despite the exceptionally high liquor-to-debater ratio to compensate for the usually poor male-female ratio) to "explore the slums." Spotting a van with Canadian plates filled with white boys meandering through the Robert Taylor Homes at midnight, a Chicago police car promptly pulled them over and escorted them out of the area. I understand some pointed advice was also offered.

Years later, I was returning from a misspent night on the north side and forgot to switch from the Green Line to the Red (back in the days when the green line went north) in the Loop. So instead of waiting for the Garfield bus at the well-lit, crowded Dan Ryan Expressway, I found myself nervously waiting at the Green Line stop (which then had twoseedy liquor stores) at 2:30 a.m. Luckily, a police car passed by and, seeing disaster waiting to happen, stopped to wait until the bus came.

What caps the story, however, is that five minutes later, a U of C undergrad gets off the train, carrying a cello. He waited calmly for the bus, totally oblivious to what a moron he was.
Date: 2004-02-17 11:28 am (UTC)

Re:

From: [identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com
What caps the story, however, is that five minutes later, a U of C undergrad gets off the train, carrying a cello. He waited calmly for the bus, totally oblivious to what a moron he was.

Moron, or just someone with a divergent risk analysis?

For years, when living in Indian Village, Nuphy and I got off at Garfield and then had to switch busses or walk to get north to where we lived. Finally, he suggested getting off at the 47th St stop and catching the bus there. I told him he was crazy because it wasn't safe, but I humoured him. We used it for two years, at all hours, alongside matronly Black women and moronic undergraduates alike, without a single incident.
Date: 2004-02-17 11:34 am (UTC)

Re:

From: [identity profile] gopower.livejournal.com
If you were using the Red Line 47th St. stop, again that's high traffic by the Expressway (though not as much as at 55th) and reasonably OK (though I always went to 55th, took the Garfield bus and walked the extra four blocks). If you were using the Green Line at 47th, then your guardian angel was working overtime.
Date: 2004-03-01 04:15 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] cruiser.livejournal.com
When I lived in BJ and had to go up to IIT all the time, I just took the Green Line all the way to 63rd & University. I did it early mornings, during the day and during the evening, and never had a problem - never even got so much as a cross-eyed look.
Date: 2004-03-01 09:36 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] gopower.livejournal.com
If you were making frequent trips to IIT, I'd guess you were a ROTC guy, which may indicate you have a somewhat different view of danger than we civilians.

I still recall vividly a comment by the woman who conducted my alumni interview for admission oh so many years ago. Commenting on the safety issues, the interviewer (Class of '70 or so, I think) said that the campus and surrounding neighborhood were safe, but you had to be careful where you went. "There's this great Chinese restaurant on 63rd Street," she said, "but if you go there, you will be mugged. People thought they could go if they were in a large group, but no, they would all be mugged."

I never tried to find the restaurant; years later someone told me it had been closed a long time ago.
Date: 2004-03-01 12:00 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile] cruiser.livejournal.com
Navy ROTC specifically (it's not just a job, it's a job with a funny suit).
Date: 2004-02-20 02:15 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] aadroma.livejournal.com
I had a lady do that to me once while getting okonomiyaki mix, and then start to explain to me slowly how to make it despite the fact I can read the instructions right on the box. ^^;;;;;;

Oh, and honey? Natto? Bleaugh. ^^;;; Seriously. I don't even know a single native Japanese person who'll touch the stuff ^_-
Date: 2004-02-20 10:55 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] jonquil.livejournal.com
Not checkout clerks, but I've often had Thai waiters warn me that "very hot" meant "very hot" and that I probably wouldn't like it... and then bring me food that was at the middle of the fiery scale.
Date: 2004-02-23 08:45 am (UTC)

From: [identity profile] rollick.livejournal.com
Oh, and you should read this. Mmm, steamed mugwort cake.
Date: 2004-02-23 08:54 am (UTC)

Re:

From: [identity profile] muckefuck.livejournal.com
I love the taste of mugwort. I'd be surprised, though, if the cake were made from pure mugwort rather than just rice flour flavoured with a little mugwort, which is more typical. Even those pieces of mugwort taffy you couldn't stand were mostly sugar and rice.
Date: 2004-02-23 09:00 am (UTC)

Re:

From: [identity profile] rollick.livejournal.com
Hey, I managed to actually eat the mugwort taffy. Unlike that yellow stuff that tasted like cat vomit, and that I can never remember the name of.
Date: 2004-02-23 09:21 am (UTC)

Re:

From: [identity profile] rollick.livejournal.com
THAT'S the stuff. Eeewwww.

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