A little Latin

[muckefuck]

Okay, if I were a good linguist, I'd be seeking to answer the question, Why is it that Americans try to pluralise all Latin nouns as if they were Second Declension masculines? But I'm just a crotchety amateur linguist, so I don't care why you people keep doing this, I just want you to stop. So listen up:

Penis belongs to the Third Declension. Its nominative plural is penes. Cf. avis, pl. aves.

Scrotum belongs to the First Declension, but it's neuter. Like most neuters, it takes a plural in -a, i.e. scrota. There are several First Declension neuter plurals floating around in English, like errata and corrigenda, and some Third Declension ones, like opera (singular opus).

Anus is...First Declension masculine! Go to town with your ani[*]!

Excursus belongs to the Fourth Declension. I know your brain is wired to say Ah! The plural must be excursi!, but, actually, the plural is excursus. (The final vowel is lengthened, but it doesn't show in this transcription.) Census and prospectus are like this, too, which is why, when we have to pluralise these words, we say censuses and prospectuses.

Now that you've been told, continuing to use these incorrect forms can no longer be ascribed to mere ignorance; rather I will be forced to attribute it to a willful desire to annoy ME PERSONALLY and respond with all the pedantic disdain I can muster. You have been warned.

Y'all may now return to your regularly-scheduled chimp-like banging of the keyboard.

[*] Strictly speaking, the accusative (anos) or ablative (anis) plural is called for, but the practice of declining Latin nouns in English according to case is too pretentious even for me to contemplate doing.

Comments

[prilicla.livejournal.com]

I sympathize, but I think the real solution to the problem of weird pseudo-Latin plurals is to stop messing around with Latin plurals entirely. As you point out, we don't decline these words when we use them in English, so why should we worry about how they'd be pluralized in Latin? I think we should treat them as English words, however they got here, and use standard English plurals: penises, scrotums, anuses, censuses, etc.

For what it's worth, the OED and the American Heritage Dictionary are both OK with "penises," though they both allow "penes" as well.

Agreed.

[aadroma.livejournal.com]

Considering that we're simply importing the word, there's no reason to import its plural form as well, particularly with the already sporadic noun pluralization in place. I say, go for "penises". ^_-

I'm amazed "virus" didn't sneak into this post ...

Re: Agreed.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Even the OED admits only viruses.

I'm not saying anyone should use the Latin plurals, just that, if you choose to, you should at least get them right. I say penises myself. But the barbarism penii offendeth mine eye such that I can no longer hold my tongue.

Re: Agreed.

[lhn.livejournal.com]

At least you can see where both i's come from there-- one from the word itself, one from the dog-Latin pluralization. But how the heck did the second i get into the (incredibly common) plural "virii"? (I'm told that in addition to the frequently spelling-casual computer field, this usage sometimes shows up in formal medicine and biology writing, OED notwithstanding.)

Re: Agreed.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

I cannot TELL you the horrible language I would use if I were to find "virii" in a manuscript. Where are those researchers? Where are those where are those publications? THEY SHALL KNOW MY WRATH!

It makes my brain hurt just to think about it.

Re: Agreed.

[lhn.livejournal.com]

Apparently in, for example

Epidemic spread and antigenic variability of Neisseria meningitidis, Trends in Microbiology, Volume 3, Issue 5, May 1995, Pages 186-192
M. Achtman

and

Orbital variations, climate and paleoecology, Trends in Ecology & Evolution, Volume 4, Issue 7, July 1989, Pages 195-199
P. J. Bartlein and I. C. Prentice

I say "apparently" because while ScienceDirect will let me search for the word "virii" in the full text of articles, we don't subscribe to the journals in question. (It does seem to be much rarer in biology than in computer science, where it bids fair to be the predominant form.)

Re: Agreed.

[aadroma.livejournal.com]

But the barbarism penii offendeth mine eye such that I can no longer hold my tongue.

I use penii merely to be amusing because I know and assume the other person knows that it's NOT really the plural. You mean some people really think it IS the real plural? Oy.

Latin nouns?

[darkphuque.livejournal.com]

I thought everyone knew this....
PLants can be problematic, however....

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

Why is it that Americans try to pluralise all Latin nouns as if they were Second Declension masculines?

Because it's funny.

Killjoy.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Please to explain to me: What is this funny of which you speak?

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I would like to be.

(well, except for the fingernails. I can't stand having long nails.)

[0595.livejournal.com]

Fuck Latin!

Extreme grammar whores like you give moderate grammar whores like me a bad name.