Cream--and cheese

[muckefuck]

I promised monshu credit where credit is due: Last night, he whipped me up a mess of cream. (Too much, in fact, but you know how real cream is: Whip it or lose it.) It--along with the pie it covered--was a welcome reward after a night of wrestling with laundry.

At first, everything was going smoothly: I'd got home early, grabbed two washers, and schnagged dinner at Riques. But coming back to the building,I got my key stuck in the lock. After several minutes of cursing and wrangling, I left it there and found the security guard who had to page the building engineer, since no one knew where he was. After letting me back into my building, the guard warned me to keep an eye on my key in the meantime so that someone wouldn't walk off with it. I scoffed at the prospect and went upstairs to eat my burrito.

When I returned, the key was gone. I found the security guard and said, "So he came and got it out, did he?" He replied, "A little old lady brought it to me."

That little old lady is Rightful Queen of all Marine Drive.


The downside of ending up at monshu's flat was that he had the telly on. Supposedly, it was Mystery Monday on BBCAmerica, but the only mystery in the police procedural "The Vice" is how all the characters involved can be so bloody stewpid all the time. In the course of last night's drama:

• A brothel employee tries to blackmail a crime lord with the threat of going to the police.
• The head of the squad gives her as much time as she needs to hang herself (figuratively) without any sort of oversight. When she misses her second deadline to turn herself in for questioning, he doesn't have anyone make the simplest attempts to contact her.
• Meanwhile, without warning her, the head of the squad uses an object which could only have come from the would-be-blackmailer in full view of the crime boss, who consequently sends someone to torch her flat.
• Without saying a word to his employee, who he's been treating like crap for days (maybe weeks), the head of the squad asks someone from another department to offer her a job.
• The person from the other department walks her through the interview, takes her out to a pub to congratulate her on the offer, makes a pass at her, and then tells her that, yes, that's part of the reason why she got the offer.
• Another squad member, who's having marital problems, is assigned to guard a hooker turned witness; neither he nor his boss mention this to his wife. When the wife sees them together and confronts the boss, confident that her husband is having an affair, the boss doesn't bother to mention this to his employee--and, in fact, increases the amount of time he's to spend guarding the hooker.

There's more, along with more unlikely contrivances than I've seen in any recent show that wasn't a sitcom--in particular, the cops have a knack of coincidentally arriving at a place just at the moment that it becomes a crime scene--but that's quite enough to demonstrate that the two hours I spent watching it were two that I will forever regret not spending on something--anything--else. I mentioned more than once that if the characters in any of the RPGs I've played coordinated and communicated this badly, they'd all end up dead. I don't care if the game is Unknown Armies or Bunnies and Burrows.

To make it all the more galling, BBCAmerica has started running these ads where fresh-faced Americans talk about how much better British t.v. is. All the usual crap--it's more edgy! (Bulletin to blondie: They show boobs and say "fuck" on Showtime, too.) The humour is more dry and clever! (Saying "breasts" 20 times in a half-hour = comedy gold.) They have such sexy accents! And, since the channel only has like four sponsors, we heard all this at least half a dozen times while watching a programme that Steven Bochco would've been ashamed to have produced.

Comments

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

We watched rasslin'.

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

This crappy reality tv fad that's taken over my life comes from England, too. Insidious!

MI-5 is really good though; is it shown on BBC America? Because I hear A&E has decided not to carry the 3rd season.

[kayiwa.livejournal.com]

To make it all the more galling, BBCAmerica has started running these ads where fresh-faced Americans talk about how much better British t.v. is.

I had this very discussion with one of my friends. The felt that all English people automatically sound smarter. I am uncertain when or how this meme was planted in the American psyche, but it is common. I promised to introduce them to some of my *scouser* mates (mostly from Everton/Liverpool and all recent emigres) to the States and see if the continue to feel the same way. Not everyone is an *Eastender*...

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

One of the babes in the ads says that she has dated homely guys just because they had the accent. Yeah, well, if a Brit accent is what does it to you, you are going to find yourself with a rather homely dating pool.

What I find even more odd is that Australian accents are considered sexy here. I think we may be the only people outside of Australian itself who think that way.

[gopower.livejournal.com]

Scottish accents, that's sexy!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Sunday night, Sundance was showing "Bedrooms and Hallways", a charming bisexual British bedroom farce. There's a lovely selection of accents on display, but I have to say that Scot is by far the least sexy character. There's an absolutely devestating Irishman, though. (Not chubby enough for me, but that's life, innit?)

[aadroma.livejournal.com]

Actually, yeah, they can be.

Note the use of the POTENTIAL.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

I'm a sucker for an Afrikaaner accent.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

That's not surprising. After all, they're the Bubbas of the Commonwealth.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Rednecks make me feel so dirty.