Apr. 23rd, 2024 12:43 pm
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muckefuckMy stepmom's memorial was pretty much what I expected: The twenty-five years she spent with my father were hardly touched on. Three of the speakers mentioned him (and us) in passing: Her best friend, her brother, and an old friend of the family from a terrible home who was kind of an adopted daughter. One of my stepnieces put together the slideshow. Out of dozens of slides, there were exactly two of him with my sister's kids and one of my sister with our stepmom. There were seven speakers altogether, including a woman who knew her from the retirement home where she'd only lived six months. Nobody from our side was asked to speak.
Nevertheless, I managed to put aside my resentment and egoism enough to get some catharsis from the experience.bunj was there for support and at one point he saw me getting very weepy and squeezed my hand. We had some laughs as well. The bonus daughter told a story about our stepmom dropping an entire lasagne on the floor on the eve of her wedding to my father. Her spouse slipped a cookie sheet underneath it and just flipped it back into the pan. I turned to my brother and said, "I ate that!" He was like, "Oh yeah, I think I knew that happened because I was in the kitchen at the time."
It was a nice venue. Our stepbrother used his theatre connexions to get the Steppenwolf and there was a lovely reception afterwards in the upstairs bar. I immediately sought out the three people who acknowledged our family to thank them and then began hitting the sauce. I sat down with the bonus daughter and we had a lovely conversation where she showed genuine interest in catching up and talking about our family. We may even get together and go for a drink sometime.
As for my stepsiblings, fuck 'em. After yesterday, I'll never need to talk to them again for any reason. Not so my brother, who has to deal with our stepsister, since she does work for his condo association. I left the venue alone and went directly to Rogers Park Social, where I was joined by a relatively new friend and we had a really lovely conversation about our respective families, health issues, and whatever else felt worth talking about.
My sister was watching from home via Zoom with her husband and five children. By the time I reached out to her to ask how she was doing, it was too late to have a good conversation, but fortunately my brother had already called and touched base. I know the whole thing must have been much rougher for her than for me, since she'd spent so much more time with our stepmom and really felt like her daughter. To not have that acknowledged at a public celebration of her life is just cruel and I don't know I'll ever be able to forgive those jerks for doing that to her.
Nevertheless, I managed to put aside my resentment and egoism enough to get some catharsis from the experience.
bunj was there for support and at one point he saw me getting very weepy and squeezed my hand. We had some laughs as well. The bonus daughter told a story about our stepmom dropping an entire lasagne on the floor on the eve of her wedding to my father. Her spouse slipped a cookie sheet underneath it and just flipped it back into the pan. I turned to my brother and said, "I ate that!" He was like, "Oh yeah, I think I knew that happened because I was in the kitchen at the time."It was a nice venue. Our stepbrother used his theatre connexions to get the Steppenwolf and there was a lovely reception afterwards in the upstairs bar. I immediately sought out the three people who acknowledged our family to thank them and then began hitting the sauce. I sat down with the bonus daughter and we had a lovely conversation where she showed genuine interest in catching up and talking about our family. We may even get together and go for a drink sometime.
As for my stepsiblings, fuck 'em. After yesterday, I'll never need to talk to them again for any reason. Not so my brother, who has to deal with our stepsister, since she does work for his condo association. I left the venue alone and went directly to Rogers Park Social, where I was joined by a relatively new friend and we had a really lovely conversation about our respective families, health issues, and whatever else felt worth talking about.
My sister was watching from home via Zoom with her husband and five children. By the time I reached out to her to ask how she was doing, it was too late to have a good conversation, but fortunately my brother had already called and touched base. I know the whole thing must have been much rougher for her than for me, since she'd spent so much more time with our stepmom and really felt like her daughter. To not have that acknowledged at a public celebration of her life is just cruel and I don't know I'll ever be able to forgive those jerks for doing that to her.
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