Aug. 14th, 2020 03:14 pm
This one doesn't count
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muckefuck*glances at calendar* Oh, I guess I'm due for my annual whiny post about my upcoming birthday?
It's not going to be what I hoped, of course. I really wanted to go all-out for my 50th. I wasn't sure exactly how, but I did consider a destination celebration. Even after the lockdown started, I didn't give up on the notion of an exorbitant restaurant meal. After all, Alinea was doing takeout!
But that was before a quarter of our workforce was furloughed, resulting in the permanent loss of many employees, including my two direct reports. We just learned that, even though the Library has worked out a way to bring back all but two of the remaining furloughs, they're going to face an uphill battle making their case to the University. Moreover, the Administrations jst warned that more cuts might be coming (because, after all, NOTHING HAS FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGED despite all the magical thinking I'm seeing around me). So even if my job were secure (which it isn't at this point), it would feel deeply irresponsible to be dropping hundreds on any kind of self-indulgence.
I keep telling everyone our COVID birthdays don't count and we'll get do-overs. I really hope that's true. So far I haven't lost any close friends in the pandemic, just friends and relatives of friends, which is plenty bad already. I feel like I'm living in a charmed field of unreality and it's got to give way at some point. (And if the past year has been any guide, the hit is quite likely to come out of an unexpected quarter.)
So I'll be taking some modest risks: JB is having me Big Red over for cupcakes in his big breezy yard and then afterwards we'll come back here and drink the cocktails friends gifted me with with <lj user=clintswan> on the back porch while our neighbours cook up some of the fish I got from another more mysterious benefactor. For once, I'll finally be home when my family calls! And I will count my blessings--which are still multitudinous--and try not to dwell on all the absences. After all, those are only going to get worse with time.
It's not going to be what I hoped, of course. I really wanted to go all-out for my 50th. I wasn't sure exactly how, but I did consider a destination celebration. Even after the lockdown started, I didn't give up on the notion of an exorbitant restaurant meal. After all, Alinea was doing takeout!
But that was before a quarter of our workforce was furloughed, resulting in the permanent loss of many employees, including my two direct reports. We just learned that, even though the Library has worked out a way to bring back all but two of the remaining furloughs, they're going to face an uphill battle making their case to the University. Moreover, the Administrations jst warned that more cuts might be coming (because, after all, NOTHING HAS FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGED despite all the magical thinking I'm seeing around me). So even if my job were secure (which it isn't at this point), it would feel deeply irresponsible to be dropping hundreds on any kind of self-indulgence.
I keep telling everyone our COVID birthdays don't count and we'll get do-overs. I really hope that's true. So far I haven't lost any close friends in the pandemic, just friends and relatives of friends, which is plenty bad already. I feel like I'm living in a charmed field of unreality and it's got to give way at some point. (And if the past year has been any guide, the hit is quite likely to come out of an unexpected quarter.)
So I'll be taking some modest risks: JB is having me Big Red over for cupcakes in his big breezy yard and then afterwards we'll come back here and drink the cocktails friends gifted me with with <lj user=clintswan> on the back porch while our neighbours cook up some of the fish I got from another more mysterious benefactor. For once, I'll finally be home when my family calls! And I will count my blessings--which are still multitudinous--and try not to dwell on all the absences. After all, those are only going to get worse with time.
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