Dec. 2nd, 2019 06:01 pm
Thanks, Ma!
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muckefuckThanksgiving went, if anything, even better than expected. The boys were rambunctious at first and gave bunj and e. a couple of starts--particularly when two of them got nosebleeds in succession. My brother made the the capital suggestion of taking everyone to the park between dinner and the dessert course and they expended most of their energy on the playground. Afterwards, two fell dead asleep and one pretty much cloistered himself with their cat for the remainder of the afternoon.
Mom and I not only arrived right on time, we even beat my sister's family. What's more, we found street parking only steps away. (I had to reread the sign at least four times to convince myself it was actually legit.) Of course she and I ended up being the last to leave. I could tell our hosts were worn out but I could've stayed even later if not for my anxiety over having forgotten to bring my PPI and worrying about how I'd get to sleep.
Right about when my sister had been preparing to leave, I initiated the hard conversation about the things we really needed to discuss as a group: the money, the eulogy, the guns. I had momentary qualms about doing this in front of the boys but they pretty much all tuned out except for AWI, who has miraculously morphed into an adult and likes being included on serious subjects. We now have a plan of action for Mom, we're in agreement on what to do with M.'s estate, andbunj is back in the saddle on the gun issue.
Despite some mishaps, the food turned out well. B&E had a humourous story about overcooking the turkey due to a defective thermometre, ordering one rush-delivered, and getting just an aluminum pan instead. Fortunately, it took only one call to fix. Similarly, my sister ended up with a pecan pie rather than a pumpkin, so guess what's sitting in my freezer right now? Oh, and for my salad, I just sliced up a fennel bulb, a couple apples, and a rib of celery with a mandoline, tossed it in a vinaigrette, and called it a day. We had an eggnog toast to remember my brother.
The rest of the weekend went almost as smoothly. Shortly after my complainy post on Wednesday, I heard from Mom. She'd slept badly the night before and didn't leave until nearly 5 p.m. Nevertheless, she arrived safe and sound by about 10:25. Of course, then she insisted we stay up to prepare the salmon ball that never formed a ball and hardly anyone ate, but we still managed to mostly get a decent night's sleep.
Friday I told her my plans were to do as little as possible. She wanted to see about getting her seatbelt repaired and hit a yarn store or two and set off alone on her "adventure". It was only much later that it occurred to me that this is something my conscience never would've allowed when I was younger. But I recognised we'd get along much better if we spent some time apart and didn't begrudge myself a day of sloth.
I did consider accomplishing some errands (like the clinic) but I was concerned she'd call me in a panic and decided to keep close to home instead. In the end, the only thing she called me about was where to order pizza. I convinced her to swing by Spacca Napoli for the really good stuff. I thought we might watch a movie together but I couldn't figure out how to work the neighbours' DVD player so that was a bust.
Instead, I dug up and split my potbound snake plant for her. It was a bit frustrating, as the meter-high leaves kept tilting at odd angles, and I did lose my shit at one point when I popped into the kitchen to find that she'd tied a clump of them together with twine, making them even wonkier. But we got past it and had a nice leisurely chat that we were able to pick up again the next morning.
I'd considered going out that evening, but given that she was planning to leave the next day, I decided it could wait. Only after she'd driven off at about 3 p.m. on Saturday did I even start making plans. So just imagine my reaction when--having returned from the closed clinic and plopped myself in the comfy chair while I pondered how to kill time until dinner--I heard the doorbell ring and glanced over to find her on the stoop.
In classic Mom fashion, she'd left her phone behind in the dining room (concealed behind a curtain on the windowsill so I hadn't seen it when I'd cased the room). Then she surprised me by announcing that her hourlong fight with Chicago traffic had exhausted her and she was staying another night. I felt so guilty at how my face fell on hearing that that I went out into the rain to fetch her guacamole for dinner.
She ended up falling asleep in the comfy chair (presumably because she'd stripped the bed before leaving and didn't want to put me through the trouble of remaking it) and left midmorning, shortly after I woke up. Of course, this time I didn't really relax until a couple hours later and not totally until she texted about mid-afternoon to let us know she was safe at home again.
bunj and e. a couple of starts--particularly when two of them got nosebleeds in succession. My brother made the the capital suggestion of taking everyone to the park between dinner and the dessert course and they expended most of their energy on the playground. Afterwards, two fell dead asleep and one pretty much cloistered himself with their cat for the remainder of the afternoon.Mom and I not only arrived right on time, we even beat my sister's family. What's more, we found street parking only steps away. (I had to reread the sign at least four times to convince myself it was actually legit.) Of course she and I ended up being the last to leave. I could tell our hosts were worn out but I could've stayed even later if not for my anxiety over having forgotten to bring my PPI and worrying about how I'd get to sleep.
Right about when my sister had been preparing to leave, I initiated the hard conversation about the things we really needed to discuss as a group: the money, the eulogy, the guns. I had momentary qualms about doing this in front of the boys but they pretty much all tuned out except for AWI, who has miraculously morphed into an adult and likes being included on serious subjects. We now have a plan of action for Mom, we're in agreement on what to do with M.'s estate, and
bunj is back in the saddle on the gun issue.Despite some mishaps, the food turned out well. B&E had a humourous story about overcooking the turkey due to a defective thermometre, ordering one rush-delivered, and getting just an aluminum pan instead. Fortunately, it took only one call to fix. Similarly, my sister ended up with a pecan pie rather than a pumpkin, so guess what's sitting in my freezer right now? Oh, and for my salad, I just sliced up a fennel bulb, a couple apples, and a rib of celery with a mandoline, tossed it in a vinaigrette, and called it a day. We had an eggnog toast to remember my brother.
The rest of the weekend went almost as smoothly. Shortly after my complainy post on Wednesday, I heard from Mom. She'd slept badly the night before and didn't leave until nearly 5 p.m. Nevertheless, she arrived safe and sound by about 10:25. Of course, then she insisted we stay up to prepare the salmon ball that never formed a ball and hardly anyone ate, but we still managed to mostly get a decent night's sleep.
Friday I told her my plans were to do as little as possible. She wanted to see about getting her seatbelt repaired and hit a yarn store or two and set off alone on her "adventure". It was only much later that it occurred to me that this is something my conscience never would've allowed when I was younger. But I recognised we'd get along much better if we spent some time apart and didn't begrudge myself a day of sloth.
I did consider accomplishing some errands (like the clinic) but I was concerned she'd call me in a panic and decided to keep close to home instead. In the end, the only thing she called me about was where to order pizza. I convinced her to swing by Spacca Napoli for the really good stuff. I thought we might watch a movie together but I couldn't figure out how to work the neighbours' DVD player so that was a bust.
Instead, I dug up and split my potbound snake plant for her. It was a bit frustrating, as the meter-high leaves kept tilting at odd angles, and I did lose my shit at one point when I popped into the kitchen to find that she'd tied a clump of them together with twine, making them even wonkier. But we got past it and had a nice leisurely chat that we were able to pick up again the next morning.
I'd considered going out that evening, but given that she was planning to leave the next day, I decided it could wait. Only after she'd driven off at about 3 p.m. on Saturday did I even start making plans. So just imagine my reaction when--having returned from the closed clinic and plopped myself in the comfy chair while I pondered how to kill time until dinner--I heard the doorbell ring and glanced over to find her on the stoop.
In classic Mom fashion, she'd left her phone behind in the dining room (concealed behind a curtain on the windowsill so I hadn't seen it when I'd cased the room). Then she surprised me by announcing that her hourlong fight with Chicago traffic had exhausted her and she was staying another night. I felt so guilty at how my face fell on hearing that that I went out into the rain to fetch her guacamole for dinner.
She ended up falling asleep in the comfy chair (presumably because she'd stripped the bed before leaving and didn't want to put me through the trouble of remaking it) and left midmorning, shortly after I woke up. Of course, this time I didn't really relax until a couple hours later and not totally until she texted about mid-afternoon to let us know she was safe at home again.