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muckefuckMy day started stupid. Halfway through showering, I realised that I didn't have a bottle of shampoo and a bottle of conditioner in the shower but two bottles of shampoo. So instead of conditioning my hair, for the last several weeks I've just been washing it twice and wondering why it's so dry. Worse, I remember double and triple checking the bottle at the store because it was a new brand and I didn't want to make the mistake of confusing the two.
And when I got out, it occurred to me that I'd doubled-booked myself for a week from tomorrow. Mozhu mailed me weeks ago to tell me of a dedication ceremony for Lee's tombstone. We spoke only a week ago about arrangements. And yet, a couple days ago, when a friend messaged me and said they had an extra ticket for a musical performance that afternoon, I spaced completely and accepted it.
Plus, I tried to speak to the project manager for the tuckpointing and found that he wasn't around and no one else on his team spoke enough English to understand my request. So I headed into work dreading having to let my friends know I couldn't join them and having to call the tuckpointers and complain.
And somewhere in all this, I noticed that my birthday anxiety had kicked in. Probably it had been there since last night when Nuphy and I made pseudo-plans. Monshu always said that I get weird around my birthday and he's right. And this is just an ordinary one! How much worse is it going to be next year when I have a milestone one?
I was looking forward to going out this weekend; now I just want to stay in. I'm hoping things will look better after a full night of sleep and I'll at least do something of what I planned but I don't favour the chances of that. I kept telling myself that tonight I'd call up one of the friends I've been meaning to go out to dinner with for weeks and invite them out but the smart money is on me creeping home and eating the half a pasty stowed in my fridge.
And when I got out, it occurred to me that I'd doubled-booked myself for a week from tomorrow. Mozhu mailed me weeks ago to tell me of a dedication ceremony for Lee's tombstone. We spoke only a week ago about arrangements. And yet, a couple days ago, when a friend messaged me and said they had an extra ticket for a musical performance that afternoon, I spaced completely and accepted it.
Plus, I tried to speak to the project manager for the tuckpointing and found that he wasn't around and no one else on his team spoke enough English to understand my request. So I headed into work dreading having to let my friends know I couldn't join them and having to call the tuckpointers and complain.
And somewhere in all this, I noticed that my birthday anxiety had kicked in. Probably it had been there since last night when Nuphy and I made pseudo-plans. Monshu always said that I get weird around my birthday and he's right. And this is just an ordinary one! How much worse is it going to be next year when I have a milestone one?
I was looking forward to going out this weekend; now I just want to stay in. I'm hoping things will look better after a full night of sleep and I'll at least do something of what I planned but I don't favour the chances of that. I kept telling myself that tonight I'd call up one of the friends I've been meaning to go out to dinner with for weeks and invite them out but the smart money is on me creeping home and eating the half a pasty stowed in my fridge.
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