Mar. 27th, 2018 11:43 am
Sleeping lessons
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muckefuckSo in the interest of furthering my personal growth, I had Clueless Furball over for sex last night.
That that was basically all he was coming over for was the first lesson. I sort of figured that given the very basic nature of our text exchanges and it was confirmed almost from the moment he arrived: That was not the look of a man who wants to talk about what's in your library. (Though we did that a bit right before he left.) We enjoyed a little getting-to-know-you chat but steered away from any discussion of clashing expectations.
The second lesson took longer to absorb. Part of the reason I'd been so put out at being stood up is that I'd had a stronger reaction to him than to anyone else I've met in Chicago for quite a while. There wasn't a clear reason why (is there ever?) and when I didn't feel the same way last night, I chalked it up to some lingering resentment. But there was something else going on, a feeling of looking for something and not seeing it there. What was that about?
Thinking it over after he left, it occurred to me that he reminded me of someone specific and I was projecting some of my feelings about that person onto him. And after chewing that a while I figured out who that person was. It was someone I'd carried a torch for for a couple years before finally letting it drop. They look very similar and they're about the same age, but they're rather different people otherwise. Most notably, CF doesn't have this other man's charm.
As for the sex, it was alright. He's got some skills, including decent negotiation and a sense of humour. He was responsive, which is indispensable, and his nipples are wired, which is a definite plus. But he didn't stay to cuddle and that made the whole thing feel somewhat perfunctory. (I'd be more understanding of that if it was a school night for him, but he made a point of telling me today's his day off.)
I'm glad I followed through, because it's often the easiest way to get someone off your mind. He lives nearby so maybe he'll be good for occasional booty calls. But those will get tiring quickly if I don't see some more personality. Meanwhile, it'll probably be several more months before I find anyone who provokes an immediate response beyond, "Eh, he'll do".
That that was basically all he was coming over for was the first lesson. I sort of figured that given the very basic nature of our text exchanges and it was confirmed almost from the moment he arrived: That was not the look of a man who wants to talk about what's in your library. (Though we did that a bit right before he left.) We enjoyed a little getting-to-know-you chat but steered away from any discussion of clashing expectations.
The second lesson took longer to absorb. Part of the reason I'd been so put out at being stood up is that I'd had a stronger reaction to him than to anyone else I've met in Chicago for quite a while. There wasn't a clear reason why (is there ever?) and when I didn't feel the same way last night, I chalked it up to some lingering resentment. But there was something else going on, a feeling of looking for something and not seeing it there. What was that about?
Thinking it over after he left, it occurred to me that he reminded me of someone specific and I was projecting some of my feelings about that person onto him. And after chewing that a while I figured out who that person was. It was someone I'd carried a torch for for a couple years before finally letting it drop. They look very similar and they're about the same age, but they're rather different people otherwise. Most notably, CF doesn't have this other man's charm.
As for the sex, it was alright. He's got some skills, including decent negotiation and a sense of humour. He was responsive, which is indispensable, and his nipples are wired, which is a definite plus. But he didn't stay to cuddle and that made the whole thing feel somewhat perfunctory. (I'd be more understanding of that if it was a school night for him, but he made a point of telling me today's his day off.)
I'm glad I followed through, because it's often the easiest way to get someone off your mind. He lives nearby so maybe he'll be good for occasional booty calls. But those will get tiring quickly if I don't see some more personality. Meanwhile, it'll probably be several more months before I find anyone who provokes an immediate response beyond, "Eh, he'll do".
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