In my head

[muckefuck]

For whatever reason, I sleptwalked through today. I did stay up too late last night and have trouble sleeping in the early hours, but that happens fairly often without necessarily leaving me this listless. I tried to get some reading done, but my heart wasn't in it. I'd keep coming back to the computer only to remind myself that this is a day I'd rather not be on social media. Yesterday the Old Man pulled my arm to get me to come shopping with him; today he didn't even try. I had some half-baked notion of heading to the beach in the middle of the day, but it never happened. I thought I might get some plants in the ground but I didn't do that either. I couldn't even get myself to pick up the phone and chat with my dad for a while.

It's days like these that I wonder if I might be suffering from mild depression. After all, half my immediate family has been medicated for it. Then I think that, if so, it's so mild that I should be able to control it behaviourally, in much the same way that mild diabetes can be controlled through diet. Just as I manage to do a minimum of physical exercise in order to keep my arteries from hardening up completely, I need a routine of mental exercise to keep those synapses firing well.

Comments

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

You should learn how to do something completely different, like knitting! I will teach you! Or go see the nice man at Squiggly's Yarns.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I've been pondering for years picking up some kind of using-my-hands hobby. Unfortunately, knitting has never really spoken to me and gardening means being dirty and sweaty much of the time.

I should start drawing again.