Tuesday Mini-Poll-Like Object

[muckefuck]

bitterlawngnome's heads up concerning the recent near-destruction of the world and mollpeartree's report on zombie-infested London are chilling reminders that we are all balancing on a knife-blade precipice and could fall into the yawning abyss below at any time. I imagine we've all given hours of careful thought as to the proper reaction when the Apocalypse finds us.

So what are your plans for the end times? Will you ascend in the Rapture or become a high-firepower maggot feasting on the stinking carcass of a dying earth? Will your transcendental meditative state leave you oblivious or will you rely on narcotics to blind you to the surrounding horrors?

Comments

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

First: if Kitsune is not in the immediate vicinity, call him on the cellphone to make sure where he is.

Second: take car to the Texaco station. Take sword in case violence is needed. Fill up gas tank and gas can. Loot if possible.

Third: climb the neighbor's fence and steal at least one horse, hopefully two.

Fourth: loot Wal-Mart

Fifth: assess loot. Compare with Mental Apocalypse List. Put all matches in Tupperware. Pack sewing needles into convenient carrying cases. Cool all perishable food. Re-read the section on how to butcher animals in The Encyclopedia of Country Living.

Sixth: sharpen all edged weapons

Seventh: have a good cry, possibly accompanied by hysteria

Eighth: head toward Dallas to get the kits

From there it gets iffy. Once we had the kits, I would want to head somewhere remote, like pleinweb's in-laws' country place or La Domina's grandmother's house.

Nicht wie wir

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

When you first moved to Texas, I was like, Why would anyone want to live there?

After reading this, I'm like, What took her so long?

[grahamwest.livejournal.com]

Get in the car, crank up the Guns'n'Roses and head for Las Vegas.

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

Well, back when I lived in Omaha right next to Strategic Air Command, I was planning to just die in the nuclear apocalypse.

I do sometimes try to keep track of what is and is not zombie-proof. My workplace used to be until a friend of mine (C.G.) accidentally destroyed the cage that used to come down over the circulation desk, and they opted not to replace it.

I am therefore now completely vulnerable to zombie attack, and the horror of surviving global nuclear war. Do you need to be a doctor or something to get cyanide tablets, I wonder?

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

I plan to be worrying about whether or not this is actually the end of the world or merely a complicated ploy to make us think it's the end of the world. So that They can take all our stuff. You know. Them. They're bastards.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

I forgot to mention that there will need to be a significant chunk of time devoted to telling Kitsune "I told you so" over and over, probably accompanied by terrified screaming.

Oh no! How will I get my anxiety meds when civilization collapses! I'll be dirty, hungry, and traumatized PLUS paranoid and anxious!

That's just GREAT.

[madresal.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'd really believe it was the end. I'd try to go to work or the grocery store or something else mundane. Would probably try to call a friend on the phone, see if they thought it was the end of the world or just thought it was bullshit like I do.

[zerbie.livejournal.com]

In my car, I listen exclusively to NPR. This has been true since my sophomore year of college, when I brought my car with me to school.

One day, a few years ago, I was driving to class. It must have been during a pledge drive, which I find annoying (I somehow feel that they should figure out a way to only broadcast pledge drives to the people who don't pledge, which would get me out of having to listen to them) and switched the station. The drive to class was only about three minutes, and I was in class all day, and I forgot all about changing the station.

I got back in the car and started driving, and it happened to be during one of the rare news breaks that mainstream stations take. And then I heard an "emergency announcment" in an NPR-sounding voice telling me that terrorists had taken control of America's nuclear arsenal and were planning to detonate everything and extinguish life on the planet. This, Announcer Guy predicted, was going to happen in about four minutes.

I sort of blinked at the station in this weird state of calm panic. I thought, "I guess I should stop the car." My plan was to pull over next to a park and sit on a bench and wait, basking in the sunlight and the 70-degree weather. I didn't understand why other people weren't stopping their cars.

For some reason, I decided that before I pulled over (I had four whole minutes!), I should make sure. Perhaps the check-your-sources mantra I kept hearing had sunk in a little further than anyone anticipated. So I hit the NPR preset, and the station changed. I laughed in ecstatic relief the entire way home.