Tell me more about this thing you call "Empathy"

[muckefuck]

My first reaction, when I saw this story was, Oh please don't let them have been celebrating Pride! My anxiety soon gave way to relief and--by the time I reached the part of the story that labeled them New Trier students--almost to scorn. I'm now all set to alienate party guests today by making tasteless jokes about the tragedy.

Update: GO ME again! [Vide supra.]

Comments

[nibadi.livejournal.com]

Soeben wurden die Bilder in den News im deutschen TV gezeigt. Angeblich waren ca. 50 Menschen auf dem Balkon. Ein bisserl viel.

Apropos Nachrichten:
Du erinnerst dich, dass du mir auf dem Friedhof von Möllemanns Tod erzählt hast. Hier in den Medien ist man allgemein der Ansicht, dass es ein Suizid war. Sowohl Fallschirm wie Ersatzfallschirm sollen unbeschädigt gewesen sein. Medienwirksam wie er lebte ist er auch gestorben. Nicht dass ich ihm den Tod wünschte, aber vermissen werde ich ihn nicht.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

At last! Now I have proof that James Joyce is a vampire and still in this world! Strange that he'd have a job as high-profile as fire chief. Also, one would think a vampire would want to stay away from fire.

[bunj.livejournal.com]

Let's face it, the man was always a little self-destructive.

[mollpeartree.livejournal.com]

You may start feeling hideously guilty approximately now:

Email from the Director of my library:
I think that most of you know that one of law school students, Henry Wischerath, was killed in the tragic accident Saturday night. Another law student, Ben Bradford, was the host of the party, his fiance, Julie Sorkin, a recent SSAd graduate also was killed. Karen tells me that many of our law students attended the party. Both Henry and Ben have just finished their 1st year ... Ann Perry will represent the law school at the funeral for Henry in Buffalo. The students are all scattered and few are in the building except the 3d years who are studying for the bar examinations. I am sure that there will be a memorial service when the students return."

*Guilt* *Guilt* *Guilt*

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I feel no guilt, but now I'm torn between fellow-feeling for other UofCers and the fact that the Midway is wide and the Law School is far away. But splitting the difference: Oh, that poor SSAd grad!

[(Anonymous)]

I've been so angry with the people who have been so dismissive of the victims of the porch collapse. It's the same bs all over the time-oh no one matters if they come from the North Shore. That assumption that if people are from the North Shore or are doing well with their lives, they are somehow mollycoddled basketcases who pay their way through life.

I'm nearly two years later adding my own commentary to this post, but I just have to say this. "The SSA grad" (Julie Sorkin) was one of the most inspiring people I have ever known to come out of the North Shore. People who choose careers in the service of others (like Julie Sorkin and Eileen Lupton) are, pardon the Christian terminology, truly angels. I wish what their lives and accomplishments weren't overshadowed by the lawsuits, by the city's politics, by people's inclination to immediately disrespect whatever they come across.

My recommendation: Be a human being.

Not all of us can be angels

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I thought I was. If there's a more human trait than callousness towards people outside one's tribe, then I don't know what it is.

If you want me to be better than a human being, well, there are many days when I aspire to that and only some when I achieve it; that day wasn't one of them.

Re: Not all of us can be angels

[(Anonymous)]

I'm really not sure what to say. I'm sorry I used the term "angels" anyway, but it was late and last night and I feel so bad that any of it happened. She was a wonderful friend and an amazing person. It's very difficult to believe that all those things that would have happened to her in her life didn't get to happen.

It's been a very difficult two years. But, it's your journal, so whatever.

Re: Not all of us can be angels

[(Anonymous)]

But one more thing: it just seems to me (and it might be a bad guess) that you haven't met people you deem worthy of your affection and kindness. That's a hard way to live your life. Most people don't aspire enough to reach their own human potential, let alone give of themselves. And I don't agree, callousness is not human, not humane, and not part of the general concept of humanity, or any other derivatives I could use.

You seem young, so I won't say anymore, but I truly hope time makes you a wiser person.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I don't think you understand what I'm getting at. "Human" and "humane" are not synonyms to me, otherwise a phrase like "Human all too human" would have no meaning. Being humane is one of things that, as I said, I aspire to and don't always achieve; usually, I'm not better than human. There are people who benefit from my affection and kindness--if you'd read much (any?) of this journal beyond this one entry, you'd realise that. If anything happened to one of them, I'd be extremely upset, perhaps even devastated.

But that doesn't automatically translate into empathy for a stranger's loss. Unless you're an acquaintance of mine who's deliberately posting anonymously to hide your identity (which strikes me as incredibly perverse), I've never met you and haven't the slightest idea who you are or what you're like. I know I'm supposed to say that I'm sorry for what you've gone through. And I am--but only in the kind of abstract way that I am for, say, the victims of the tsunami in Asia or the two people who were killed outside my boyfriend's apartment the other night. I had no personal connexion to those victims of tragedy either; I can surmise what the people who did felt, but I can't feel it.

My experience of humanity leads me to believe that this isn't unusual. When it reaches an extreme where a person cannot empathise with anyone, including personal acquaintances, we call it a pathology. But if it wasn't common in its weaker form, then every tragedy wouldn't throw up its own cloud of gallows humour, would it? There would be no starving Ethiopian jokes, no Martha Stewart and Michael Jackson jokes, no News of the Weird or Darwin Awards.

I'm not sure what you wanted to say here either. Do you make a habit of cruising LiveJournal to upbraid strangers for their callous comments about others' misfortunes? Or do you only take them to task for disrespecting the suffering of your acquaintances in particular--your friend who died, your North Shore tribe? If the latter, what makes you so very different from me--or any other average human being?