Jun. 5th, 2010 11:25 pm
Sitting out this dance
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muckefuckI think I've finally worked through my post-Bear Pride blahs. They really blossomed on Wednesday, when the last traces of afterglow had completely faded, but it took a while to put my finger on the source of my lingering dissatisfaction. It came down to simple arithmetic:
It's not that I left with the impression that there was no one there interested in me--quite the contrary. But it did occur to me that no one there was actively pursuing me. It's like that scene in that Julia Roberts film where Rupert Everett says, "Who's chasing after you?" (Except that, of course, I've got a hunk a hundred times better than what's-his-name waiting at home, so I lacked her desperation.) When I was a more fragile creature, that would've really devastated me--and to be honest, there were times when it did. But this time I took it all in stride, and I owe that to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
monshu as well.
You see, as long as I've known him, he's always had a very hands-off approach to erotic adventures, not ever making a move without evidence of definite interest. Several times, I saw him walk away from a situation where, with seemingly just a little effort on his part, he could've landed quite a sweet catch. I always ascribed this reticence to almost painful shyness, but now it's beginning to look more like wisdom.
Viewed in this light, it was easier to see why I hadn't put out that little bit of effort myself to turn some of the opportunities around me into realities. Frankly, I've been around enough to know that the catch often isn't as fun as the chase, and that pursuing generally isn't as much fun as being pursued. I did what suited me at the time, I didn't waste too much energy on what might well not have amounted to anything, and I did my best to enjoy the companionship on offer. And that is the heart of a successful bear run.
Number of trick cards given out: 11.This sums up what I was feeling, which was that I'd put more energy into the event than I received back.
Number of trick-card recipients heard from: 1.
Number of trick cards given to me: 1.
It's not that I left with the impression that there was no one there interested in me--quite the contrary. But it did occur to me that no one there was actively pursuing me. It's like that scene in that Julia Roberts film where Rupert Everett says, "Who's chasing after you?" (Except that, of course, I've got a hunk a hundred times better than what's-his-name waiting at home, so I lacked her desperation.) When I was a more fragile creature, that would've really devastated me--and to be honest, there were times when it did. But this time I took it all in stride, and I owe that to
monshu as well.You see, as long as I've known him, he's always had a very hands-off approach to erotic adventures, not ever making a move without evidence of definite interest. Several times, I saw him walk away from a situation where, with seemingly just a little effort on his part, he could've landed quite a sweet catch. I always ascribed this reticence to almost painful shyness, but now it's beginning to look more like wisdom.
Viewed in this light, it was easier to see why I hadn't put out that little bit of effort myself to turn some of the opportunities around me into realities. Frankly, I've been around enough to know that the catch often isn't as fun as the chase, and that pursuing generally isn't as much fun as being pursued. I did what suited me at the time, I didn't waste too much energy on what might well not have amounted to anything, and I did my best to enjoy the companionship on offer. And that is the heart of a successful bear run.