Your follow-up post makes it sound like you've talked and approached resolution already, but I just wanted to throw in my observation that it really is near impossible to predict for me and mine when an argument is about to start. Like an earthquake, it's an accumulation of small stresses; when my last nerve is finally gotten on, and the mood fractures and shifts into something mean, it's a surprise to me, in retrospect, though it also has a feeling of inevitability; and the precipitating events are almost always silly -- what kind of salt to use at the table, or whether there's time to shave before going out.
What I concentrate on is getting out of the other person's way or letting them escape, and just physically separating until the adrenaline has worn off. Of course for some people this registers as an inability or unwillingness to communicate, or, worse, "the silent treatment", so it's important this tactic is introduced before it needs to be used, if possible :)
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2008-12-30 07:39 am (UTC)What I concentrate on is getting out of the other person's way or letting them escape, and just physically separating until the adrenaline has worn off. Of course for some people this registers as an inability or unwillingness to communicate, or, worse, "the silent treatment", so it's important this tactic is introduced before it needs to be used, if possible :)