I think I do that when I'm really angry and afraid of yelling and screaming and saying inappropriate things. You wisely point out that the silences could be worse than the yelling and screaming and saying mean things. Would it help if he announced "I am angry and I need to be alone now?" He might not even be angry with you, but with something/somebody else.
The other case when I've done the "silent treatment", and I can't see how it would apply here, is when I give up on talking to somebody because it's useless to argue with them, because they'll deny saying or doing things that they did and I know they did/said because I was there. This isn't when people are just forgetful (heck, my memory sux, and I don't remember stuff I've said), but when they deny with absolute vehemence. "I NEVER SAID THAT! I'D NEVER IN MY LIFE SAY THAT". Either they are liars of the worst sort, or they are forgetful to the point of Alzheimers. In neither case does it pay to argue.
But I suppose if this ever comes up again, I should tell the person what is going on, that I am giving up on them, so they will know.
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2008-12-29 03:46 pm (UTC)I think I do that when I'm really angry and afraid of yelling and screaming and saying inappropriate things. You wisely point out that the silences could be worse than the yelling and screaming and saying mean things. Would it help if he announced "I am angry and I need to be alone now?" He might not even be angry with you, but with something/somebody else.
The other case when I've done the "silent treatment", and I can't see how it would apply here, is when I give up on talking to somebody because it's useless to argue with them, because they'll deny saying or doing things that they did and I know they did/said because I was there. This isn't when people are just forgetful (heck, my memory sux, and I don't remember stuff I've said), but when they deny with absolute vehemence. "I NEVER SAID THAT! I'D NEVER IN MY LIFE SAY THAT". Either they are liars of the worst sort, or they are forgetful to the point of Alzheimers. In neither case does it pay to argue.
But I suppose if this ever comes up again, I should tell the person what is going on, that I am giving up on them, so they will know.