Brief lives, snap judgements

[muckefuck]

Life is too short to:

• eat iceberg
• drink Merlot
• watch MTV
• read Dan Brown
• speak Russian
• learn Access
• date jerks
• live alone
• feign excitement
• ride Greyhound
• lose sleep
• play golf
• listen to Cage

Comments

[niemandsrose.livejournal.com]

What if it's a choice between Date Jerks or Live Alone?

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/users/isitandlookout/387050.html#cutid1

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

(we are borg)

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

That's never the choice: The cat lady option is always open.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

No, you are ofb, I'm olhb.

[niemandsrose.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't call it "open"; I'd call it a "done deal".

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

IMO, you belong.

[aadroma.livejournal.com]

Bitch, what's wrong with Russian?! :: laugh ::

[mikiedoggie.livejournal.com]

Dude, I LIKE merlot! :-P

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Um...everything?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

ONE OF US!! ONE OF US!! GABA GABA!! WE ACCEPT YOU!!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Just for that, I'm adding:

• Listen to Philip Glass

[mikiedoggie.livejournal.com]

Well, that beats "Life is too short... to collect all the recordings of Philip Glass."

[coughs]

[gopower.livejournal.com]

If you do not watch MTV now and then, how will you be able to track the coming Apocalypse?

[his-regard.livejournal.com]

Iceberg... lettuce, I suppose? If so, I disagree. Iceberg is a vehicle for 1000 Island dressing, much as pancakes are a vehicle for syrup.

As for the Merlot, well. Let's just say exceptions can be made for Lafite Rothschild, shall we?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Good pancakes I can eat without any syrup. Good iceberg--how can there be such a thing? It's all tasteless roughage. If I'm going to spend five minutes chewing my cud, you can be damn sure there'll be some reward at the end of it. Why don't more sandwich shops give me the option of spinach instead of lettuce? It's just as pretty, tastes better, and chock full of vitamins and protein.

And, yes, "Lafite Rothschild" pretty much trumps anything. I'd drink Lafite Rothschild Snapple if there were such a thing.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I figure my occasionally glimpses of Bravo and Fox provide me with all the data points I need.

[aadroma.livejournal.com]

Oh come now. Russian's hot, especially in bed, made even more so with that famous Slavic trilled R, in a nice baritone voice ...

Oh, and its grammatical enigmas make it fascinating too. Cough. ^^;;;;

Now CATALAN -- I mean, what the fuck? ^_- :: giggle ::

[cpratt.livejournal.com]

Lafite's less than 20%, so no, you can't make an exception for it. Maybe Pétrus?

[keyne.livejournal.com]

I found riding Greyhound educational, and reading Dan Brown (briefly) entertaining (though I might not repeat the experiment).

I'll call you to a duel on the Merlot, though.

[cruiser.livejournal.com]

I misread the 9th item on your list as "Feign excrement" and wondered if that meant pretending to give a shit.

[pleinweb.livejournal.com]

[contrary]

I'm sick to death of intellectuals treating Dan Brown like he's some kind of intelligence heretic. He's a writer. His job is to write for money. He's way ahead of most people I know at succeeding. At the same time he's increased tourism, gotten people reading, pumped life into the publishing world, even gotten people thinking and researching history. What's wrong with that? It's like people who hate Harry Potter for being popular. Just silliness. Besides, you could read the book in an afternoon.

And as for noses up at Merlot. You watched Sidewise too many times. If you drink the wine and enjoy it, does it really matter what they called it?

[/contrary]

You want the full rant, you'll get the full rant!

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I've never watched Sideways ever, but, as I understand the reviews, its message is the same as yours: We're supposed to end up agreeing with Madsen, not Giamatti.

Now, let me tell you, I was hating Merlot way before that film touched a mainstream nerve. I've simply never had one that I enjoyed, ever. Red wine very easily gives me headaches and always aggravates my GERD. I have to be careful which ones I drink and how much I have, so I'm not one to cut varietals a lot of slack. Nowadays, you get one or two chances to impress me; Merlot had a lot more than that and never came through.

Dan Brown is a miserable, miserable writer. I don't care about his accuracy--plenty of more talented authors have crafted enduring works that played faster and looser with the facts. His writing is simply so terrible that I can't get through a page of it without hating myself. He's such a hack that every one of his glorified Mary Sue stories begins in the identical stilted fashion! His plots are also not the least bit original; what is there in The Da Vinci Code that didn't appear in Holy blood, holy Grail over two decades ago?

Why would I read a badly-written, hackneyed, derivative novel with cardboard characters when I haven't come close to exhausting the œuvres of authors I love and there are hundreds of talented, exciting, original authors out there that I still haven't discovered? Especially given that--unlike keyne--I don't read fast enough to get through a novel (no matter how simple-minded and mechanical) within the space of a day?

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

See below. I found spending an entire day in a train station educational, too, but I'm in no hurry at all to repeat the experience.

well ranty rant rant

[pleinweb.livejournal.com]

Well he was a particularly fast read for me and I'm a slow reader. I thought it was alright, good fluff, but not a masterpiece. Originality? Is there any in modern fiction anymore? I think once or twice a decade at best. Of course, I'm a sci-fi/fantasy buff so its not exactly like masterpieces are my thing. Robert James Waller is to me what Dan Brown is to you, I think. That said, I will shut up and simmer down, now.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

I'm taking my Akhmatova in dual translation and going home.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

I don't know from modern fiction; I'm still catching up on the output of the previous 5,000 years or so.

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

Bond with me over our hatred of Brown!

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Happily! Easily! And with much envy of his untold riches!

[kastehelmi.livejournal.com]

Life is too short to:
eat iceberg: ok, I agree with this! Have you read Garrison Keillor's
anthology "Good Poems"? Some unremembered contemporary author in there wrote how contemporary poetry is like iceberg lettuce, and it was a positive ode-kind of poem! I can say that it is healthier than chewing ice! Ice wears down the tooth enamel, whereas iceberg lettuce is just crunchy pale-green-water.
drink Merlot: I wouldn't know. I've tried it before and it wasn't bad at all but I'm under 21.
watch MTV: Absolutely!
read Dan Brown: Haven't read him, don't think I will at least till he becomes obsolete in the bruhaha world. My summer is too short!
speak Russian: Completely disagree. Shostakovich, Marina Tsvetaeva, Anna Akhmatova, Fyodor Dostoyevsky....
learn Access: Is this a computer thing?
date jerks: AGREED
live alone: Not so sure about it...
feign excitement: Agrees with mind faster than subliminals
ride Greyhound: for those who can afford other options!
lose sleep: Sleep is an always changing entity.
play golf: 100% too short to!
listen to Cage I completely disagree, and I will say that it is immature if you decide that I am a loser, or something like that for liking John Cage, nowth upon nacht.Yeah, I do defend 'im.

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