Skycap Ten and the Whirled Dodo Marrow

[muckefuck]

In keeping with our ambition to see every talked-out about film only after absolutely everyone else we know anywhere has, monshu and I caught Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow on pay per-view tonight and I have only one thing to say:

You bitch teases!

Imagine my astonishment at seeing British-Iranian comic Omid Djalili, who I've been lusting after ever since The Mummy, greet Our Heroes on a snowbound plateau in Nepal. Further, imagine how at the moment when you were thinking Omigod that guy is fat and hairy! my mind was having the exact same reaction, mutatis mutandis (which is to say Omigod do I want to see that guy BUTT NAKED!, followed immediately by the thoughts (1) Yeah, right, he's the lumpy, unattractive, comic supporting bear role. and (2) I'm not seeing anyone butt naked as long as we're in fucking NEPAL!).

You could see what's coming even if you didn't already know what's coming. It's like they deliberately set out to yank my chain, isn't it? We are literally mere millimetres away from seeing Djalili nipple (smaller than life size on the GWO's pathetic t.v., but large as a hubcap in a legitimate theatre) but do they reveal it? No! They shy away, even though they display enough of his amazingly hairy shoulders to drain all the blood from my head.

At least I have the comfort of knowing that all the Jude "I'm Too Pretty To Exist" Law bzw. Gwyneth "Bringing One Dimension To a Two-Dimensional Character" Paltrow fans felt my exact pain at more or less the same time. That's the magic of cinema to bring us all together.

Comments

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Gwyneth "Bringing One Dimension To a Two-Dimensional Character" Paltrow

I love you.