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Top 13 Reasons Why I Voted for George W. Bush

  • 13. Tony Blair isn't eligible.
  • 12. I kind of like the sound of "nucular".
  • 11. The only way I can see of ever getting bipartisan support for electoral reform is to put the Republican Party in the position of the Democratic Party of 2000, i.e. with its candidate winning the popular vote but losing the Electoral College. (Fellow blue-state liberals, give it a thought!)
  • 10. I'm tired of this intermittent trickle of deFriendings; what I want is a MASS EXODUS!
  • 9. Teresa Heinz makes Hilary Clinton look like Dolly Madison.
  • 8. The Republicans have figured out that they can win with policies that only benefit a minority because they see to it that that minority gets out and votes. Maybe four more years of Republican control of both Executive and Legislative branches will prompt more apathetic whiners to get a FUCKING CLUE, get off their PLUSH BOTTOMS, and--quite literally--fulfil the very LEAST of their duties as a United States citizen.
  • 7. I get a kick out of a subordinate calling me an "imbecile" to my face (even though unknowingly).
  • 6. Vicente Fox deserves a break.
  • 5. I believe in divided government, but the demographics of my city and the current pathetic disorganised excuse (Judy, I am so voting against you next chance I get!) for a statewide Republican organisation make electing local non-Democrats a lost cause.
  • 4. I wish even more US celebrities lived in Canada.
  • 3. It was the right war in the right place at the right time, Senator Dumbass!
  • 2. Nothing livens up political discussions around the dinner table like cancelling out your boyfriend's votes.
  • 1. Everyone talks about Armageddon, but no one does anything to bring it ONE STEP CLOSER!
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