A thousand deceptive words

[muckefuck]

I haven't been paying any attention to quarters lately. The commemorative ones have lost their novelty value and--as febrile laments--have been getting fuglier lately. If not for his pointer, I wouldn't have even realised that Missouri's is out.

My heart sank when I saw it. No, it is isn't as unattractive as some (though, granted, Wisconsin sets a pretty gosh darn low bar), but you know what I almost invariably hear from friends seeing the Arch for the first time?

"But it doesn't go across the river."

It does no good to point out that it's the Gateway to the West and the Mississippi runs southwards. They've formed in their mind's eye an image of a glittering span connecting the banks of a mile-wide expanse of flowing water (the Big Muddy is nowhere near a mile wide at St. Louis, spawning the most common second reaction of disappointment: "It's not that big.") and the reality of a less-than-200-metre-wide metal arch on a grassy knoll can only be a letdown. And this happens in a world where there are no prominent images of a river-spanning arch. Seriously, anyone who forms this false conception does so in spite of a huge body of images which make it absolutely plain how the arch fits into the skyline of the city, with both feet firmly planted on the Missouri side.

Not any longer. With this misleading image of explorers heading bravely into an geographically-impossible anachronism (or perhaps an accurate depiction of weekend frontier recreationists tooling around on a slough in the Metro East?) burning holes in the pockets of children across the country, the Great Unwashed can be forgiven for visualising the Gateway Arch as a taller, shinier Eads Bridge. For that reason alone, I will never forgive its designers.

Comments

[febrile.livejournal.com]

Of the states in which I have lived, Kentucky's is the only one that doesn't shame me.

[niemandsrose.livejournal.com]

Dude, whay you-all on LJ? I have an excuse-- I'm *working*. But y'all...

Simple enough.

[febrile.livejournal.com]

Because the cast of my show all went out to Konak and I said, "No."

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Reality isn't what matters: it's the symbol that counts. Didn't you learn anything from Bush landing on an aircraft carrier?

[pacotelic.livejournal.com]

I think your icon just turned me from the straight and narrow

[gopower.livejournal.com]

While I don't think I ever believed that the arch spanned the river, I did have the impression that it dominated the skyline. And I was very disappointed when I saw it. It struck me as more an middling amusement part ride than a major monument. This came after a particularly disappointing job interview after college. I was unhappy to still be unemployed, but more than a little relieved that I wouldn't have to move to St. Louis.

[bunj.livejournal.com]

I think that the river is supposed to be the Missouri, with little blobby-headed Lewis and Clarks on it. Not that it would help, the arch doesn't span the Missouri either. What got to me when I first saw it were the GIANT LOOMING COTTONWOODS (or prairie grasses, or mushrooms, or trifids, or whatever) that threaten to lean down and devour our poor, blobby-headed explorers. They're both a little frightening and a little inaccurate (bluffs on either hand, now that would be cool).

[muckefuck.livejournal.com]

IIRC, there are no bluffs on the Missouri where it joins the Mississippi. Both banks are relatively low there (much to the chagrin of West Alton, the Most Floodingest Town in the Greater St. Louis Area). Presumably, they were once cottonwood-lined as well. (Modern-day Bridgeton was originally named Marais des Liards or "Swamp of the Cottonwoods".)

Still, you're right, making it look like the Arch spans the Missouri does not represent an improvement. I was thinking I might be able to accept both the geographical and chronological impossibilities if they had added something to the catenary curve to make it look imaginary, like squiggly rays. That is, as if it were not the Gateway Arch that the Blobby-Heads are passing under, rather the platonic idea of The Gateway stretching over them in their minds' eyes as they make their historic trek west. Of course, given the overall poor execution, it might end up looking more like the interplanetary vessel from which the fearsome trifids are emerging.