Sep. 3rd, 2019 12:36 pm
Pep found and lost
It was a long weekend and I am exhausted.
Pepperoni was supposed to stay two nights with me and two with friends, but he's not a good planner and they ended up unable to host. I managed to find someone to take him in on Thursday night but I only sort off got to sleep in on Friday morning. So even though I didn't go out much, I'm tired as hell.
I think we had a good balance of time together and time apart--enough that we left on happy terms, at any rate. Saturday night was crisis night. I was a little drunk and it collided with his insecurity issues at a Detroit-style pizza place. He pouted through the meal and, when we got back home, asked, "Do I need to find somewhere else to stay?" Fortunately, I was able to initiate a discussion and get us back to a good place.
I'm not really used to doing this much mentoring. The first time I put him on a bus by himself (the first night, when he was staying with![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
paladincub21) he said "Okay, Dad!" as I was dispensing final instructions. I could have been annoyed, but I was amused, and on his part, it seems like I never crossed the line from advising to nagging or controlling.
He's comically hopeless with directions. Any time I asked him to orient us by cardinal direction, he simply guessed. The only place he could successfully navigate back to my apartment from on his own was the local gay bar (which he did twice on successive nights). He almost made it from the airport the first day but missed one jog in the road and ended up calling a Lyft. ("I told the driver 'I know I'm only about three blocks from my friend's house; I'm not lazy, I'm stupid".) The last day, he tried to go out to buy an energy drink and ended up having to call another one.
He's also very clearly used to living at home. He tried his best to be respectful when asked (creeping around like a mouse to avoid waking me in the wee hours) but he never cleaned the lint screen when doing laundry or refiled the carafe in the refrigerator. Fortunately I know enough now to let these small things go. I'm not his roommate; if he's not actually damaging anything with his cluelessness, then it's not worth making a fuss about.
I vented my frustrations to my friends, especially Big Red, who hoped that I was "at least getting some sex out of this". I did, but that had than been my primary objective, then it wouldn't've been worth it. When I first saw him, I didn't feel like fooling around at all and I did it the next day only to keep him from feeling bad while saving myself for an assignation with Pasillero that evening. We had another romp, but it wasn't a patch on that first afternoon we spent together.
And though I may have felt a certain protectiveness toward him, I didn't feel possessive. I wanted him to meet new people and have adventures and he did. The one time I regretted this slightly was Sunday. At first, when he went off to do some shopping and I stayed home to nap, I was thrilled to have the house to myself. But then when it got towards evening and he didn't check in to see if I wanted to get dinner together, I felt a little abandoned. But I reminded myself that this how my day probably would've turned out regardless and forgave him.
Pepperoni was supposed to stay two nights with me and two with friends, but he's not a good planner and they ended up unable to host. I managed to find someone to take him in on Thursday night but I only sort off got to sleep in on Friday morning. So even though I didn't go out much, I'm tired as hell.
I think we had a good balance of time together and time apart--enough that we left on happy terms, at any rate. Saturday night was crisis night. I was a little drunk and it collided with his insecurity issues at a Detroit-style pizza place. He pouted through the meal and, when we got back home, asked, "Do I need to find somewhere else to stay?" Fortunately, I was able to initiate a discussion and get us back to a good place.
I'm not really used to doing this much mentoring. The first time I put him on a bus by himself (the first night, when he was staying with
paladincub21) he said "Okay, Dad!" as I was dispensing final instructions. I could have been annoyed, but I was amused, and on his part, it seems like I never crossed the line from advising to nagging or controlling.He's comically hopeless with directions. Any time I asked him to orient us by cardinal direction, he simply guessed. The only place he could successfully navigate back to my apartment from on his own was the local gay bar (which he did twice on successive nights). He almost made it from the airport the first day but missed one jog in the road and ended up calling a Lyft. ("I told the driver 'I know I'm only about three blocks from my friend's house; I'm not lazy, I'm stupid".) The last day, he tried to go out to buy an energy drink and ended up having to call another one.
He's also very clearly used to living at home. He tried his best to be respectful when asked (creeping around like a mouse to avoid waking me in the wee hours) but he never cleaned the lint screen when doing laundry or refiled the carafe in the refrigerator. Fortunately I know enough now to let these small things go. I'm not his roommate; if he's not actually damaging anything with his cluelessness, then it's not worth making a fuss about.
I vented my frustrations to my friends, especially Big Red, who hoped that I was "at least getting some sex out of this". I did, but that had than been my primary objective, then it wouldn't've been worth it. When I first saw him, I didn't feel like fooling around at all and I did it the next day only to keep him from feeling bad while saving myself for an assignation with Pasillero that evening. We had another romp, but it wasn't a patch on that first afternoon we spent together.
And though I may have felt a certain protectiveness toward him, I didn't feel possessive. I wanted him to meet new people and have adventures and he did. The one time I regretted this slightly was Sunday. At first, when he went off to do some shopping and I stayed home to nap, I was thrilled to have the house to myself. But then when it got towards evening and he didn't check in to see if I wanted to get dinner together, I felt a little abandoned. But I reminded myself that this how my day probably would've turned out regardless and forgave him.