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Aug. 13th, 2019 12:10 pm
The sweetest anxiety
I hate waiting for a man to get back to me. The only reason I didn't solidify plans with Handsome Bastard when we were chatting last night was that Pasillero hadn't gotten back to me about this week and I wanted to keep this evening open just in case. That seemed fair: We've been seeing each other a year and he's reliable as hell so he deserves not to be tossed aside the moment a new guy comes along.
But now I'm worried I may have torpedoed things with HB by telling him I'd have to check with a friend first. So awkward, all this initial negotiation; you're trying to suss out what's up with the other person and there's just so little to go on. I get so suspicious whenever I hear someone speak of a "roommate" (with good reason, as it turns out, based on past experiences) and last night he set aside a conversation with me that was just getting flirty to talk to his. Is that something to be bothered by? Who the hell knows.
Of course, it's exactly when you're trying to avoid looking at your phone when everyone texts you. First it was my neighbour, who's apparently stopping by Home Depot tonight and wanted me to choose between sprinklers. IDGAF except I do and trying to visualise weeks of wrestling with something from a tiny image on your phone is a mug's game.
Then--out of nowhere--Ginger Farmboy starts asking me again about going on a cruise with him. Kinda yes and kinda no? But trying to explain that is hard enough even in person. I'd like to have someone to travel with. Someone easygoing. If we can have fun in bed, too, that's a plus. But respecting my boundaries and giving me time alone is non-negotiable.
On the home front, the tuckpointers destroyed my surprise lilies. I wasn't as annoyed as I might have been because I'd already resigned myself to this. I'd actually forgotten I'd planted any until I saw the budding stalk on Sunday morning and thought, "Well that's terrible timing." Last night, I came back to find it broken off and put it in some water. This morning, two more blooms had opened so I'll get some joy from it.
I'm still not 100% sure what ethnicity they are but I said "Dzień dobry!" to one of them and he repeated it back, so if they're not Poles then they've at least been around them. And the owner was as good as his word: when I told him our hosepipe had sprung a few small leaks, he bought a new one and dropped it off yesterday. Unless they really fuck something up before the end of the week, they're getting glowing reviews on the sites.
But now I'm worried I may have torpedoed things with HB by telling him I'd have to check with a friend first. So awkward, all this initial negotiation; you're trying to suss out what's up with the other person and there's just so little to go on. I get so suspicious whenever I hear someone speak of a "roommate" (with good reason, as it turns out, based on past experiences) and last night he set aside a conversation with me that was just getting flirty to talk to his. Is that something to be bothered by? Who the hell knows.
Of course, it's exactly when you're trying to avoid looking at your phone when everyone texts you. First it was my neighbour, who's apparently stopping by Home Depot tonight and wanted me to choose between sprinklers. IDGAF except I do and trying to visualise weeks of wrestling with something from a tiny image on your phone is a mug's game.
Then--out of nowhere--Ginger Farmboy starts asking me again about going on a cruise with him. Kinda yes and kinda no? But trying to explain that is hard enough even in person. I'd like to have someone to travel with. Someone easygoing. If we can have fun in bed, too, that's a plus. But respecting my boundaries and giving me time alone is non-negotiable.
On the home front, the tuckpointers destroyed my surprise lilies. I wasn't as annoyed as I might have been because I'd already resigned myself to this. I'd actually forgotten I'd planted any until I saw the budding stalk on Sunday morning and thought, "Well that's terrible timing." Last night, I came back to find it broken off and put it in some water. This morning, two more blooms had opened so I'll get some joy from it.
I'm still not 100% sure what ethnicity they are but I said "Dzień dobry!" to one of them and he repeated it back, so if they're not Poles then they've at least been around them. And the owner was as good as his word: when I told him our hosepipe had sprung a few small leaks, he bought a new one and dropped it off yesterday. Unless they really fuck something up before the end of the week, they're getting glowing reviews on the sites.