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Holy fuck. No way I can neatly summarise events since I last posted.
Sunday after Thanksgiving,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
monshu was admitted to the hospital for a blood transfusion. The next day, he broke the news to me that he was done. As in: no more tests, no more poking and prodding, no more procedures, no more institutions. Take-me-home-and-let-me-die done. Except that he had one more thing scheduled for tomorrow and wants to go through with it. Or so he says whenever I ask, but I'm not convinced it what he really wants or needs.
This complicates everything, since we can't initiate hospice until all interventions are over. There are a hundred-and-one details left to take care of and Mom is back in St Louis for the time being taking a well-deserved break. I have an army of friends willing to help out, but I don't know what I can ask of any of them. Friday, I finally got a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication to help me sleep and today I filled it.
But I'm coping. I'm eating, I'm e-mailing, I'm even finding time to distract myself with friends. But I can already foresee collapsing into a heap when this is all over (which by all indications won't be long, since last time we took him home without an IV he was back in hospital after 19 days).
Sunday after Thanksgiving,
monshu was admitted to the hospital for a blood transfusion. The next day, he broke the news to me that he was done. As in: no more tests, no more poking and prodding, no more procedures, no more institutions. Take-me-home-and-let-me-die done. Except that he had one more thing scheduled for tomorrow and wants to go through with it. Or so he says whenever I ask, but I'm not convinced it what he really wants or needs.This complicates everything, since we can't initiate hospice until all interventions are over. There are a hundred-and-one details left to take care of and Mom is back in St Louis for the time being taking a well-deserved break. I have an army of friends willing to help out, but I don't know what I can ask of any of them. Friday, I finally got a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication to help me sleep and today I filled it.
But I'm coping. I'm eating, I'm e-mailing, I'm even finding time to distract myself with friends. But I can already foresee collapsing into a heap when this is all over (which by all indications won't be long, since last time we took him home without an IV he was back in hospital after 19 days).